Dear Yami
by Wordsorcereress
Summary: Yugi disappeared six months ago, after Yami and Teá became engaged. Teá's cheating and the stress of losing Yugi drives them apart, leaving Yami to try and find him. When Ryou calls, out of the blue, telling Yami and Grandpa that Yugi's been involved in a serious accident, will the reason why he left come out? Will a certain Diary help? Warnings: mentions-suicide & heartbreak.
1. What we lost

**My original story! As said in the Poll.**

**'Dear Yami'**

**Summery: _"Yugi disappeared six months ago, a month after Yami and Teá became engaged. Teá's cheating and the stress of losing Yugi drives them apart, leaving Yami to try and find his aibou. When Ryou calls from England -out of the blue- telling Yami and Grandpa that Yugi's been involved in a serious accident, will the reason why he left come out? Will a certain Dairy help?"_**

**Yugi: This story sounds a little depressing.**

**Amme: Yes, it is a bit. Because it contiants lots of heartbreak and lots of sad dairy entries. This is the first chapter of it, I'm hoping to get this up so that I can move on with other projects. I'll warn everyone now; It's NOT going to be a very long story, about 4-6 chapters or their about.**

**Yami: Why am I paired with Teá? *turning green***

**Amme: I'm sorry Yami. But it's needed, and it's never in present tense. It's all in the past and it's not like you did anything specail with her.**

**Yami: GOOD!**

**Yugi: *hugging Yami* Amme-chan doesn't own Yugioh, please enjoy and give her feedback, it's her first original in a while, just let her know her story creating skills aren't rusty. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

December 3rd.

Yami gazed out of the window in the lounge, watching the white ice angel feathers falling from the heavens. The air was cold outside and contrastingly warm and cosy inside, outside the wind made delicate patterns in the snow scattered air.

Domino was blanketed in a layer of snow, it was deep enough to sled in and too deep to wear normal shoes, everyone wore wellingtons; to keep their feet dry. Yami sighed as he stared out of the window, the snow reminded him of that time…

* * *

_Yami was laying asleep and warm in his bed, the morning was quiet and just perfect. He had no work, no immediate chores and no reason to stop him from dozing in his bed all day. But, clearly, someone else had other ideas._

_Yugi burst into his room with a happy, excited face. "Yami! Yami wake up!" he laughed, shaking his Darkness awake when he saw the lump under the covers._

_Yami woke up and blinked at Yugi as he tried to understand why Yugi was here. "Aibou?" he groaned sleepily "What is it?" he rubbed at his eyes and sat up, feeling his blankets pool around his waist. As much as he loved to see Yugi childish and happy, it was just too early for the man to be asking him to wake._

_Yugi smiled and pulled at his hand "It's been snowing! Look outside!" he ran to the window and pulled back the curtains._

_Yami winced as his tired eyes were assaulted with the sharp light of day, somehow it seemed even brighter than normal! Like someone was shining a large light into his room. Yami covered his face with an arm. "What?" he asked as Yugi pulled him to his feet._

_Yugi giggled, a happy childish sound that made Yami smile too, Yugi pointed "Look!"_

_Yami looked out of the window and gasped! The world was white! There was white feathers falling from the sky and the blanket over the city was smooth and flawless; because no one had stood in the blank canvas yet._

_Yugi opened the window and stuck his hand out into the freezing air. When Yugi caught a snowflake he laughed and Yami felt compelled to do the same. His tanned hand melted each snowflake that he had touched, but the magical moment was wonderful; and it was even better because he had shared it with Yugi._

* * *

Yami left his memory and sadly lowered his eyes to his breakfast. It was his day off, one of the last before the Christmas holiday, he'd agreed to go shopping with Joey, Seto and Mokuba. Joey had told them that Serenity and Tristan would meet them later in the day.

Tristan wanted to propose to his girlfriend. Yami smiled and got up to stretch. It would be a long day, he washed up his plate and went upstairs to change into something warmer than his track suit pyjama bottoms.

As Yami reached the top of the stairs he paused. Even though he didn't want to, his eyes travelled to Yugi's door. Yami silently walked up to the dark wood and a hand rose to sculpt the middle of the wood.

The door was nothing more than a door, but it was dusty, the hinges hadn't squeaked in months, the handle was shining brass without fingerprints yet, was also dull with lack of use. Yami's hand curled into a gentle fist. This door always felt cold to him, an empty draft came from this door; he hadn't been inside it for weeks. At first the door would never be closed, as if it was waiting for something to come along and fill the emptiness.

But Solomon and Yami eventually realised that this door wasn't going to be walked through by him again. So they had reluctantly shut it, there was a silent mutual agreement as they walked away from the simple yet painful act of closing this door; that it wouldn't be opened by either one of them.

Yami leaned his forehead against it and sighed through his nose, his crimson eyes closed. There was an emptiness and quiet in house, it wasn't normal, yet had been here for months. Yami moved along with a final caress to the dark wood.

The man changed into warm trousers and pulled on a vest, long sleeved top and a jumper. He hated the cold, being Egyptian born the cold wasn't something he was accustomed to. Yami brushed his hair and cleaned his teeth before going back downstairs and greeting the elderly man who was his Grandpa as much as the group's.

"Good Morning," he said as he pulled his coat out of the cupboard.

Solomon smiled "Good Morning Yami, did you sleep well?" the old man was just getting his shop ready for opening for the day.

Yami nodded as he found his wellingtons. "There they are! Oh, yes I slept okay, and yourself?" he pulled on a boot with a bit of difficulty as he had several pairs of socks on.

Solomon chuckled at his silly dance. "As well as an old man can sleep I suppose. You heading out?" Yami nodded and pulled on his other boot. The silver haired man hesitated before reaching out and holding Yami's arm, Yami looked at the man in surprise. Solomon cleared his throat "If you see Joseph and the Kaibas… please ask if they have any news" he said firmly, but Yami saw the worry and miss in his eyes.

Yami nodded and hugged the elderly man before saying "I will, I'll ask when I see them. Take care of yourself, I'll be back before the shop closes"

Solomon messed Yami's hair affectionately "You'd better be, run along now"

Yami saluted and headed for the door "Yes sir!" and left, chuckling to himself at how silly he had sounded.

The walk to the mall was longer than normal because some parts of the journey were wading through deep snow. Yami constantly grumbled at the cold, and unintentionally brought forth another memory.

* * *

_Yami ploughed through the snow, grumbling and cursing as his shoes filled with snow. Yugi giggled next to him, happy and warm in his snow boots. "Cheer up Yami, it's the holidays!" he chirped like a robin._

_Yami frowned "My feet are soaked. It's too cold"_

_Yugi paused and looked at him worriedly "I told you to wear your boots… I know! We can swap shoes at the store, then you'll be dryer" he suggested._

_Yami chuckled at Yugi's selflessness "Thanks aibou, but I think that I'll just suffer for my mistake, there's no need for you to catch a cold too"_

_Yugi nodded, then pulled Yam into the park; they were the first ones there so the blanket of white was undisturbed and breathtaking. Yugi ran into the middle and lay down to make snow angels._

_Yami chuckled and leaned over Yugi's form with a wicked grin "Are you sure you're twenty aibou?" he asked, Yugi could be so childish sometimes. But it was Yugi, and it was cute, it kept his life lively._

_Yugi smiled and sat up, a sprinkling of snowflakes in his gravity defying hair and over the back of his coat. "It's the holidays," he repeated from earlier "You're allowed to be a silly as you want when it's Christmas!" he shouted and threw snow into the air gleefully._

_Yami smiled and forgot about his wet socks and stayed with Yugi, making snow angels and getting into snowball fights with other teens and children all day. Just before they left they looked back at the park, there wasn't a single undisturbed bit of snow. Yami had sighed before saying "I guess that is the only downside to snow; it's only pretty when you're apart from it."_

* * *

"Yami!"

The said man jumped out of his daydream to see Mokuba running up to him. Yami opened his arms as he anticipated a hug with a wide smile. The younger Kaiba partly launched himself at Yami, all the while giggling happily "I haven't seen you in ages! How've you been?" Mokuba asked, stepping to walk beside Yami.

Yami shrugged "I've been alright, not liking the cold weather but, what can you do?" he wasn't a god, he couldn't change the weather, and if he did he'd upset lots of children who loved the snow. "And how have you been?"

Mokuba pulled his hat down further over his head and pulled his matching scarf up. "I've been ill recently; I got a cold when I stayed outside too long. Seto told me to not breathe in the cold air or get my feet wet today, or he'll lock me up till Christmas" the boy pouted.

Yami laughed as they finally closed the distance to the patiently waiting pair.

Seto nodded at Yami distantly. But Seto was never one for friendly hugs or pleasant greetings, Yami wasn't offended by the cold hello. However, his boyfriend, Joey, was the opposite of that. Joey was warm, fiery, friendly and cheerful. Yami found Joey's welcome even happier than Mokuba's.

"Yami!" Joey hugged Yami tightly, even lifted his weight off of the floor for a moment. "Man, it's been so long! How've you been?" the excited blond asked as he set Yami back on his feet, keeping a hold of his elbow while he found his balance on the ice.

Yami smiled "I've been fine Joey, it's just a little quieter in the house and nosier in the shop" the Christmas shoppers were really living up that area of the house.

Joey nodded and looked at his watch "Well… it's only eleven, we've got a nice walk to the mall, Serenity's going to be so happy" he said excitedly. The thought of his little sister getting married had made him both happy and sad, but it seemed that happy was winning for the moment.

Yami chuckled and the four boys started to trek through the slippery snow. Yami glanced at the two taller boys a few times, wanting to ask them but not sure how. Mokuba saw Yami's glances and pulled on Yami's sleeve to get his attention. "He says; hello, he misses you and he's sending you something for Christmas" he murmured. Mokuba's blue eyes were understanding but also a little sad.

Yami blinked before sighing deeply and fighting tears "Thank you." he whispered. Mokuba squeezed his hand and kept holding it as they walked.

That was one of the good points about Mokuba; he was very sensitive to the emotions of others, someone might think that a gift like that was creepy, but it just meant that he was a great listener; he was wise beyond his eyes yet playful under his actual age too. It was that gift, understanding people and being sensitive to emotions, that made him such a great speaker; no wonder Seto had Mokuba open some of his events; the boy could energise a bored crowd, what the older Kaiba lacked in social skills the younger had tripled.

Seto heard their exchange and glared at Yami, his eyes were screaming icy accusations. Joey elbowed him in the ribs, lightly, and shook his head; it wouldn't do any good to start an argument that would break their promise to _him_.

Seto closed his eyes in agreement and Joey smiled in relief. "So… Yami, I was thinking; I've been practicing a lot at Kaibaland and I think I'm ready to take you on and win!" he said with his goofy smile.

Seto scoffed under his breath while Yami smiled "Are you challenging me?" he asked the golden eyed blond, a hint of a laugh under his voice.

Joey nodded "You bet I am!" he laughed like a maniac and said "I'm going to become the King of Games at last!"

"Please!" Seto said "There's no way you'll be able to do that! If you could beat one of the title holder's I should have crushed them ages ago!" he concluded.

Joey growled "Shut up! I just wanted to try and have some fun; sorry if fun isn't in your golden edged dictionary!"

"That's a big word puppy, are you sure you know what it means?"

"Will you quit with the dog jokes!"

Mokuba pulled Yami's shoulder down so he could whisper in his ear "An extra large hot chocolate with sprinkles says they'll be making out in two minuets." The two laughed quietly and Yami nodded before making his bet;

"And one minuet says you owe me two hot chocolates"

Mokuba giggled and they began their countdowns. It was a minuet and a half when the brunette and the blond had their arms around each other tightly with their mouths pressed together. Yami and Mokuba decided just to get one for themselves as their bet was a draw.

"Yami? Mokie?" a surprised voice called out to them.

The two boys looked across the road and gasped when they saw Mai, standing with her arms full of shopping bags. She gestured for her taxi to wait for her, slipping in a roll of cash through his window, before dumping all save one of her bags in the taxi and running to meet the group.

Mai had wrapped up warmly, her prize money let her have such stylish clothing, red with green stitching and light brown ruffs of real fur. She stopped before the two boys and smiled at them "Long time no see!"

Mokuba smiled widely and let the taller woman hug him. "Hello Mai, merry Christmas!" he said sweetly.

Mai ruffled his hair, mindful of his hat, before hugging Yami too. "Good to see you too, Yami."

"Likewise," the crimson eyed man said, Mai stepped back and Yami laughed "You look well, I haven't seen you since summer"

Mai nodded with a frown "Yes… it's been so long, we should meet up for Christmas or new year. If rich boy throws a party make sure I know about it." she whispered to Mokuba, who laughed.

Yami rubbed his cold, gloved hands together "What are you doing for the holidays?" he asked her.

Mai sighed "Not that much really. Mother and Father have asked if I want to come to their meal, but it's always the same, so I'm not sure if I'll go. But there's an opening for an 'elf from Santa' at the children's home, I've applied to go and help out as a volunteer." she smiled, her rosy cheeks and blond hair made her look rather elf like already.

Yami chuckled "Well I'm sure they'll be excited to meet you, if any of them are duellists."

Mai smirked "I should think so." she rummaged in her bag "It's a good thing I saw you, or I don't know when I would have got these to you" she brought out some little boxes wrapped in cheerful paper "I hope you like them, I had them especially made" she winked.

Mokuba took Joey's and Seto's too, because they were _still_ busy. "Thank you very much Mai! We're just going to do our shopping, so sorry we can't give you anything now." he explained, blushing with a little bit of shame for not being able to give anything back.

Mai shrugged "Don't worry about it, who knew I'd run into you… Yami?" she was holding another box, as if she wasn't sure what to do with it "Have you heard from Yugi at all?" Yami's cheerful face at once fell to the floor and a sad, slightly pained, one replaced it. Mai winced and quickly spoke on "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories. I'll just have to hold onto it until I see him myself!"

Yami didn't really hear her.

The topic of Yugi had always been some sort of taboo in the group nowadays. Just about six months ago Yugi had disappeared. There had been no warnings and no goodbyes, save for a note found later, and they hadn't seen him since.

The only ones who had contact with Yugi was the Kaiba household; who only told Yami and the rest of them that he was safe and well, but they had promised not to tell anyone where he was. Yami and Grandpa sometimes received letters, with no return address, from Yugi for special events like birthdays and Halloween.

The only thing Yami had found out about Yugi's whereabouts was from the stamps; because he didn't recognise them he concluded that Yugi was abroad somewhere.

Mokuba took Yugi's present and said "I'll make sure he gets it, it'll be nice if you had a letter to go with it too…" he advised.

Mai agreed after a moment of thought and took Yugi's present back before saying "I'll give it to you when I've got a letter written. I've got to go; I think I'm irritating the taxi driver. Merry Christmas!"

Yami smiled tensely "Merry Christmas, see you soon!"

Mai laughed as she got into her taxi and drove off.

* * *

Later that day Serenity and Tristan walked into Burger World, smiling like the world was better than amazing. Joey waved them over and as soon as they sat down he grabbed his sisters left hand and saw the pretty pearl ring on her fourth finger.

Joey whistled "Wow, that must have cost a pretty penny." he smiled at his brunette sister.

Serenity blushed as the gang told her 'congratulations' with hugs and small teases. Tristan was grinning like a fool as he sat down. Yami nodded at him "Good on you." he said.

Tristan smiled "Thanks, I hope that I can make her happy."

Yami nodded, he saw how the two interacted and watched each other; they were what the other wanted. "You will, you already are." he assured the spiky haired man. Tristan blushed and held his fiancée's hand again.

Yami smiled at the gesture, then slightly wider as they leaned onto each other, he looked away to give them brief privacy. Yami's smile fell a little when he thought of his own disastrous relationship; his cheating fiancée: Teá.

* * *

Their relationship had been a solid one, or so he had thought. When he had refused the afterlife and decided to stay and live out the reminder of his mortal years here in Domino, the entire gang, even icy Seto Kaiba, had been very happy. Even if he shared a body with Yugi, the former Pharaoh had become such a large part of the group, they were all so happy he had decided to stay.

Yami had Yugi's memories of education and Seto forged his identity papers (he was Yami Atem Sennen officially) the CEO- with a little persuasion from his younger brother- had given Yami a job at Kaiba corp.

Yami had a very good artistic streak, as Yugi did, and so he designed products. Cards, duel disks, merchandises and even made a few other games that Kaiba corp. could sell. A few were based off games in ancient Egypt. It paid quite well once his ideas took life and began to sell.

Yugi and Teá often stopped by. Yugi stopped by to say hello in-between his shifts in his Grandpa's shop- which was amazingly popular as the co holders of the title 'King of games' worked there- and Teá stopped by as favours to Yugi. It started when Yami forgot his lunch or his coat on a rainy day. Yugi'd call up Teá and ask her to take something as they were still good friends.

People all around Yami kept asking if he was dating Teá when she kept coming to see him, even though Yugi cam by more often Teá caught people's attention. Yami told them no and his colleges told him to 'grab her' while she was single. They told him lots of times that to let someone as pretty, loyal and overall perfect as her was both a waste and a personal failure.

Yami had been given these images all his modern life; a man and woman were meant to be together if they had strong feelings. He did feel _something_; his colleges told him that it was love. Because he'd been told this so much, those images and ideals were everywhere, he'd felt compelled to follow that ideal.

So he had started dating her. Their dating was good, they spent time together and shared memories, went to places, and had a good relationship. They had dated for weeks, and Yami had proposed to her at one of Kaiba's charity balls.

The night was beautiful, the air was rich with flowers and wine and music. It was the perfect place to propose. Teá had been asked in front of the entire gang, she had shouted yes at once and everyone had told them how glad they were for him.

But Joey, Seto and Mokuba were a little reluctant. Yami guessed that they didn't like that he used their ball for his proposal. Their good wishes were true, but he had sensed that there was something there. Yugi had been crying, Yami was a little worried, but Yugi just said "I'm happy for you."

Yet Yugi had been cruel too. Three weeks later he had told Yami that Teá was being unfaithful, Yami was hurt that Yugi would ever think of Teá like that.

Teá had said that Yugi was lying, that he didn't want Yami to get married and leave his life.

Yami and Teá had been engaged for a month… when Yugi vanished. Yami was so upset when he found the note. He had felt; worried, betrayed, abandoned, sad, slightly angry but most of all confused and hurt. The note had told him that Seto, Mokuba and Joey knew where he was.

Yami and Grandpa had confronted the three and had begged them to tell them where Yugi was. But the three boys had refused, saying time and again that it was Yugi's choice and that they had promised to not tell. They said that if they had word from Yugi they'd tell them immediately.

Yami had been depressed and had quickly called up Ishizu in Egypt, thinking that Yugi would have gone there as they visited quite often. But the Ishtars were as clueless as those in Domino. Mai had asked her many contacts; Valon had the old Doma- now the Doma Riders- get together and search as well. But they hadn't found a trace of him anywhere.

As the weeks went on, Yami got more and more upset. Teá complained that he cared more for Yugi than he did for her; he assured her that he did love her and that she was the most important. She had hurt him by saying "Prove it" and demanding that he had to have sex with her.

Yami had been raised in a culture were physical love was special and a mutual understanding. He was shocked that she used such a harsh tone to describe the sacred act. He knew that there was no way she'd ever understand, so told her that he wasn't ready for that step.

But he didn't give up his search. At every tournament he would search the crowds and ask for Yugi, every time there was nothing.

If that wasn't bad enough, when he came by Teá's apartment early one day, he'd found her having sex with Duke Devlin. Yami had angrily broken off their engagement, so hurt that the woman he had trusted had betrayed him, later he would look back and realise that he didn't love her; love and trust were different things. The modern media had brainwashed him to follow the ideals and fit in, and now he had paid for it.

He had felt guilt later when he realised that Yugi had been telling the truth, he had cried and wished to be able to turn back time and take back the words he had said.

Duke had guiltily stopped by the next day and told him that he honestly didn't know that she was engaged; she had told him that she would get money off Yami and then they'd run off and live together. He had said goodbye, saying he was going to the States to set up Dungun Dice over there as well, and he said that Teá was now with nothing. They had agreed that she was a little slut who didn't deserve any comfort.

Yami had eventually given up searching for Yugi, he had realised as everyone else had; that the reason that Yugi wasn't being found was because he didn't _want _to be found.

* * *

Yami came back to the present as his meal was put before him. He smiled at Tristan and Serenity. He knew that they'd never betray each other, they were what each other wanted.

Yami sighed and looked out of the window, the angel feathers were still falling. _Yugi were are you?_ Yami longingly asked the sky. He sighed, he had hoped to spend his first Christmas with Yugi, but it seemed that fate had other plans. Grandpa was equally worried and saddened, but they couldn't do anything until Yugi wished to be found.

Yami smiled at Joey's jokes and made bets with Mokuba that they often tied on and had a very good time, yet, he knew that there was a hole in his being that only Yugi could fill. Yami found a wishbone in his turkey portion, Mokuba explained that they held each side with their smallest fingers and pulled.

"When it snaps the one with the biggest part of the bone gets to make a wish, that's why it's called a wish bone." The black haired boy explained with a grin.

Yami nodded and held one end of it, he offered the other holding to Mokuba "Want to try your luck?" he asked.

Mokuba nodded and pulled. With a clear snap the bone broke. Yami had gotten the largest bit. Mokuba nodded proudly "Now make a wish." He said firmly.

Yami turned the bone over and over between his fingers, then smiled. _I wish for Yugi to return to us._ He indicated his head at the bone, an odd little tradition, but little did he know that his wish would soon be realised…

Just not in the way he expected it to be.

* * *

**Amme: There we have it! The first chapter!  
****Now before you all start screaming and yelling at me; I'll explain why Yami got with Teá in the first place: Everywhere you look you see ideals and they're 'drilled' into your own life, you get inflenced by them; that's why girls nowerdays think that it's attractive to be extreemly skinny and look like a supermodle and why boys think that being smart makes them geeks.**

**Yami: Really?**

**Amme: Yes, it's called Properganda (we all see this everywhere! Movies, books, drawings, posters, advertisments, tv; you name it! You even hear about it from friends!) You saw the ideal of a man and woman being in love and dating and getting married and living happily ever after. After seeing that and hearing that from literaly everything aroung you, you felt the need for socail acceptance and so followed these ideals.**

**Yugi: Is that true?**

**Amme: Yeah, if you look at Nazi Germany; Hilters propaganda infulenced the country into going to war, giving him power through votes, makeng the jewish "the enemy". It really is a real thing. (That's my Psychology and History knowledge playing into this *wink*)**

**Yami: Wow, so I wasn't really in love with her?**

**Amme: No, as explained above; you were just seeing this image so many times you believed it to be true. But, luckily, you realised how evil she was and left her.**

**Yami: *smirking* good.**

**Yugi: *cuddling* please leave a review!**


	2. The Call

**My original story! As said in the Poll.**

**Hello everyone!**

**I can't reply to reviews at the moment because I'm so rushed for time! I've got a show to perform! "The Phantom of the Opera!"**

**Yugi: Break a leg!**

**Thank you! I'll reply to reviews later, just Thank you all so much for reviewing and please could I have ones that have some depth!? Thank you!**

**Yami: Amme-chan doesn't own Yugioh, please review (long ones please!)**

* * *

December 4th.

The air was crisp and chilly. The ground held ice but not snow, Yugi breathed in the chill and watched as his breath misted on the air before flying away, like smoky little fairies. Yugi had warm boots, coat and scarf on, all centring on the theme of indigo blue.

Yugi breathed on his gloved hands to warm them. He picked up his bags again and moved on, a box full of cookies under his arm and another smaller bag full of games hanging off the same elbow.

Yugi smiled a little as the frost and ice reminded him of Yami's first snow. Yami had been so confused, it was hilarious, but they had had such wonderful times together as well; unfortunately Yami had also gotten his first cold and had been miserable too.

Yugi remembered a little sadly…

* * *

_Yami lay curled up in bed, his nose was red and his eyes were droopy. Even though he wasn't very sick, he felt just awful. His body was cocooned in blankets yet he still shivered, Yugi had given him two hot water bottles and they were starting to do their job, his body relaxing as he warmed._

_Yugi sat by his bed with soup he smiled as Yami slowly woke up, his Yami had some really cute moments, even if he didn't admit to it. When his hair was mused and his eyes sleepy and droopy his looked simply adorable, Yugi fought the urge to squeal and giggle when Yami's hand raised to rub at his eyes like a child. Yugi leaned over him "Good morning, Yami"_

_Yami looked up at Yugi and smiled as well "Hello aibou" he said, before reaching for a tissue and blowing his nose so he could talk without sounding 'bunged up'. But his nose was sore and while clearing it, it often made him hiss in pain too._

_Yugi winced sympathetically and held his elbow. "I guess you're still feeling sick, poor you… I've made you some soup. Eat it while it's hot" he advised, putting a tray over Yami's lap. Yami nodded sleepily and ate a few spoonfuls before remembering his manners._

_"Thank you Yugi. I'm sorry that you're stuck inside with me. I know you like the snow" he looked a little down for thinking he was holding Yugi back. Yugi had just lit up in the environment outside, he wanted Yugi to be happy._

_Yugi smiled and shook his head while fixing Yugi's blankets so that he would keep warm. "You're health is more important than the snow, when you get better we'll get you proper shoes and a proper coat so that you don't get a cold again" Yugi stood up and said with a warm smile "I'll call Seto and tell him that you won't be in your office today"_

_Yugi left the room with a smile, as much as he hated that Yami was sick, he liked the time together it allowed. Yugi sighed and went to start a 'not very pretty' conversation with Yami's boss._

* * *

Yugi woke from his daydream and smiled as his destination was in sight. "A few more minuets kids." He promised and crossed the road, the green man had lit up and all the cars were all stopping.

"Look out!" someone screamed; Yugi felt a hand try to snatch at his coat.

Time slowed down.

Yugi looked and saw over his shoulder at the woman who had tried to reach him, her arm was still outstretched, her eyes were wide with panic.

Yugi heard more screaming and looked into the traffic to see a large green car speeding towards him. It was going to fast! Yugi reacted and tried to move out of the way. But the car was faster.

The people on the sides of the road screamed and gasped Yugi's small body was hit by the car and sent flying. Yugi curled around himself in the air, his entire being centred around the pain of the impact. When he landed his head hit the concrete and his eyes instantly shut.

He lay sprawled out in the snow. His eyes were closed, his hands relaxed around the gifts he had not dropped, blood flowed from his temple and from his side where the car had directly hit him.

People rushed to his side and others called ambulances. But Yugi didn't know all this was happening, he wasn't awake to see the people around him take off their coats and keep him warm, he didn't hear the wail of the siren and couldn't speak to the men and women who loaded him into the vertical and drove him to the hospital.

Yugi was in a dark place. It wasn't an evil dark, or a warm comforting dark; it was simply the darkness of oblivion. Yugi floated in the dark and found he had neither the will nor the energy to leave at the moment. All his pains and his hurtful memories were numb. Yugi relaxed and gave into the peace… he did that without a second thought…

* * *

The phone shrilled yet again and Yami groaned as he dragged himself from his room. The phone had rung at least six times and Yami was getting annoyed; _who in the world would call at two in the morning anyway?_ He thought angrily.

He took the phone off its holder, hearing Grandpa Moto follow him downstairs to see what all the fuss was about. Yami growled into the phone line "Hello? Moto residence"

"Yami? Oh god it's about time!"

Yami yawned "Ryou? Damn it, Ryou what's the big idea calling us at two in the morning?" the crimson eyed man wasn't happy, and Grandpa Moto seemed rather irritated too, but he was better at hiding it.

Ryou huffed on the other end of the phone "Excuse me! It's only five in the afternoon in England. And I'd never call out of my time zone unless it was for something important" he explained, sounding stressed and tired.

Yami nodded tiredly, even thought Ryou couldn't see it "And what's so important?"

"Yugi's in hospital"

Yami gasped, suddenly wide awake and pale. He grasped the phone in a white fist and stared into empty space. _Yugi…_ "Yugi's in hospital?" he repeated, Solomon at once pressing in close to hear about his Grandson. Yami switched the phone to speaker.

Ryou partly sobbed "Bakura and I just got the call two hours ago, Yugi was on his way to the children's hospital when he was hit by a speeding car. He's just come out of surgery, Bakura's with him"

"Where is he?" Grandpa asked, his old voice cracking with worry.

Ryou sighed "In England, London. He's been here for a few months now, I knew you'd want to know about this, I hope Yugi forgives me for betraying his secret" Ryou fretted.

Grandpa took charge "We'll be there as soon as we can, stay with him, call us if there is any change."

"Alright. Goodbye."

The phone clicked as Ryou left. Yami had been silent but his head buzzed with a million questions; what happened? Why did he leave? What was he doing in England? And was he alright?

Grandpa shook a little, scared at the thought of Yugi in hospital and injured. He looked at Yami and saw that he was in an equally bad way, he took Yami's shoulder and held it for both comfort and support.

Yami held his hand back and shuddered "Yugi…" he gasped out.

Solomon nodded "Pack some things, I'll call the airport and book a flight, you'd better find a way of telling the others, Ryou's most likely only told us"

Yami nodded, glad he wasn't thinking for himself at the moment, his head was running in circles and he felt just about ready to fall down and cry. He bolted upstairs and got out two suitcases from on old cupboard. Yami packed at random, remembering things such as toothpaste and socks here and there, but his mind was still stuck on three facts:

One; Yugi had been found!

Two; he was seriously hurt.

Three; he hadn't wanted anyone to find him.

Yami leaned over his half full suit case and covered his face with a hand, hiding his eyes. He shook a little and sniffed loudly, too proud to admit that he was crying. Solomon came back upstairs to help back and saw Yami stuck in between his emotions, the old man put a hand on Yami's shoulder.

Yami leaned into him a little and blinked away his tears. Solomon rubbed his back "I know Yami, I know" he sighed sadly.

Yami shook his head silently "D-did you get the flight?"

Solomon nodded "Yes, we'll arrive there at two in the morning; we'd better sleep on the flight. Ryou's going to meet us at the airport in London" he explained.

Yami swallowed and pulled in some more clothes. Solomon stilled his hands. "I'll do that, you should go and call the others" Yami let the old man take the job from him, he was too emotionally hysterical to concentrate on such things as packing anyway. Calling the others wouldn't be pretty, he pulled the phone off of the hanger and started with Mai.

* * *

December 5th.

Ryou jumped up on his chair and waved when he saw Yami and Solomon. "Yami! Mr Moto! Over here!" he shouted in Japanese, causing a few stares but no one knew what he was saying.

Yami rushed over to the albino and hugged him when he jumped down. "How is he?"

Ryou hugged Solomon before replying "He's still in hospital, the doctors told me that he's stable for now, but he did take a lot of damage from the hit and run"

Yami's red eyes _burned_ in hatred. How could someone just crash into someone and Run? It was cowardly! Yugi could have been helped!

Ryou sniffed and rubbed his eyes on his sleeve "He's all hooked up to machines, got several cracked ribs, a fractured hip, lots of bruising and a few cuts from the ice. But it's the head injury that the doctors are worried about the most; they said that it's very possible that he won't wake up for a long time… he's in a coma" Yami and Solomon stiffened at the bad news.

Ryou sniffed again and rubbed at his eyes. He cleared his throat and said "I'll take you right to him, you can stay in my apartment for now" he said.

Ryou picked up a few of their bags and went to hail a taxi, he looked at the two of them and smiled a little "Don't be too upset about the coma, it just means that he's trying to heal himself. It's good to see you by the way" he chuckled as he realised that they hadn't greeted each other properly yet.

Ryou got a taxi and the three piled in "East side hospital please" Ryou said in English. He looked at the two of them and sighed "I'm so sorry that I had to tell you like this…"

Solomon held Ryou's pale hand "I'm glad you did, I would have never have forgiven myself if I hadn't of been there for him when he needed me." Ryou nodded with a small smile, his face was stressed and there were dark shadows under his eyes; he had clearly been just as shaken up by this as the others had.

Yami kept biting his lip the entire way to the hospital. The thought of Yugi in a coma, unable to speak to him and unable to answer his questions, it made him more anxious to feel his warmth and heartbeat. He longed to hold Yugi in his arms, he didn't know why he felt like this, but his chest was aching and he felt like every second was nine too long.

Ryou took their things to his car before taking them into the main building. The hospital was quiet and white and smelt very clean. It made Yami's skin crawl he wanted to find Yugi and ground himself as soon as possible.

Yami knew which room Yugi was in when he saw Bakura standing outside it. The yami had a dark scowl on his face as normal and yet he looked just as worried. He growled loudly and marched up to them.

Ryou squeaked in alarm! "Bakura-"

Bakura carefully moved Ryou aside and punched Yami in the face!

Yami fell back with a cry of pain! He looked up at the glowering Yami in confusion "Bakura? What-"

Grandpa Moto looked shocked "Why how-"

Ryou grabbed Bakura's arm "Bakura! There was no need-"

Bakura glared at his lover "You know _exactly_ why he deserved that! It's his fault Yugi's in there!" he shouted at him. Everyone was silent. Ryou stood his ground for a moment then just let Solomon in to see Yugi before standing in the doorway to make sure things didn't get ugly.

Yami got up off the floor, rubbing his aching jaw. Bakura glared "It hurts doesn't it? Believe me its only part of what you should be feeling" Bakura crossed his arms and snarled again. "Why are you even here? Why aren't you cuddling up to that whore of a wife you made a fiancée out of?" he demanded aggressively.

Yami glared, he didn't know why Bakura was acting this way, but he had just touched a nerve. "I broke of the engagement when I found her sleeping with Devlin, and he's my hikari, I haven't seen him since he disappeared and he's just been in an accident! I'm here to see him!"

Bakura smirked "So you put him through all _that_ for nothing, I hope you hurt as much as he did when you found her banging another man" he snapped.

Yami shook his head and moved to see Yugi. Bakura blocked hi way with an arm. He shook his head with a dark glare "No. You're not allowed to see him"

Yami growled and tired to shove him aside "Bakura, Yugi's hurt! I've been sick and worried about him for months, let me see him!"

Bakura glared "No. You're not hurting him again"

"Bakura," both yamis turned to see Ryou standing in the doorway, he had a halo of light behind him and even he looked a little less than calm. "Let _me _speak to him, you'll have to stay with Mr Moto because he wants to stay here"

Bakura slowly nodded at his lover, he glared at Yami before shutting the door behind him. Ryou heard the turn of a lock and shook his head in an irritating and fond gesture. Ryou looked at Yami and sighed "I'm sorry for what Bakura did; he just doesn't want Yugi to be hurt again"

Yami nodded, he could feel the bruise blooming on his skin…

Ryou turned and fully faced him "But he is right on one point, and it won't do you any good to play dumb with him. We really don't appreciate it Yami, Yugi doesn't deserve this, at least say sorry and be honest with him" he said softly, his large brown eyes pleading, as if he was an angel begging a criminal to change his ways.

Yami shook his head and growled into his hand as it rubbed at his nose, he could feel a head ache coming on, and the lack of sleep wasn't helping him. "Will someone please tell me what's going on? What have I done that's so terrible? I was in Japan! I had nothing to do with the accident"

Ryou blinked and his face turned shocked "You really… don't know?" he asked, as if he could hardly believe it.

Yami threw his hands in the air "Know what?" he almost shouted "My hikari's in there badly hurt, he's been missing for months, I've been worried sick about him and now I'm not even allowed to go in and make sure he's still breathing!"

Ryou jumped at his rant and then glanced through the little window of the door before his mouth set in a decision. Ryou pulled out a car key from his back pocket "Come with me. I'll show you" he said and took his hand to make sure that Yami followed him.

* * *

Ryou opened the door to his apartment and led Yami inside. Ryou took off his coat and waited while Yami got out of his shoes before taking him to the back where the guest room was.

Ryou looked at Yami and said "This is Yugi's room, he's been staying with us all this time"

Yami blinked and looked around, it was a nice homely place, pleasant and yet the dull noises of London seeped through. "He's been here all along?" he nearly cursed himself for not asking Bakura or Ryou in his search for Yugi. He took a deep breath "Ryou? Do you know why he left? And why he's not contacted us at all?"

Ryou hesitated before nodding. "I know"

Yami stepped closer to Ryou "Tell me, please. Why did he leave? Does he hate us?" he asked, he started off like he was about to shout, but all the strength left his voice towards the end, he would hate it if Yugi hated him. He didn't understand why, but his heart was aching with the plea for Yugi's acceptance.

Ryou took a step back and then turned to the guest room "He doesn't hate you" He opened it smoothly and peered inside, but he didn't enter. "This has been Yugi's room for the past months" he nodded when Yami moved to enter.

The room was small and neat, it had the theme of cream and red. There was a desk covered in papers, a shelf full of books and puzzles, little knickknacks and a bit of dust, there was a beside table, overflowing with pictures of the gang. Although, Yami noted, some of those pictures were disfigured, he had cut out someone. The same person over and over; Teá.

Ryou pointed to something sticking out from under the bed. "There, that's Yugi's. I've only seen it once, you'd better look at it"

Yami knelt by the bed and pulled out a white box, it was larger than a shoebox but it wasn't a packaging one like you'd expect. On the lid was scrawled "Only open if you are Aibou or Mou Hitori No Boku" Yami ran his hand over his past persona. Only Yugi had ever called him that.

He took off the lid and peered inside. His eyes creased in confusion at what was sitting in the white box.

* * *

**Yami: What's in the box?**

**Yugi: ... I have no idea!**

**You'll find out in the next chapter! I hope that you'll all stick around for that! *hugs and kisses* Thank you!**


	3. Inside the Box

**Updating time!**

**Merry Christmas to everyone! And any other hoilday you may be celebrating! And a happy new year! Please forgive the long updating time; I was so uninspired until yesterday.**

* * *

He took off the lid and peered inside.

His eyes creased in confusion at what was sitting in the white box. Inside were several books, some objects and a worn little leather bound volume overflowing with sticky notes and other things, it looked very worn, the imprints of fingers were all over it. Pens and pencils were scattered all over the bottom of the box, but it wasn't untidy.

Yami placed the lid beside him and reached in and picked up one of the books. It was a sketch pad. Yami opened the first page and blinked as a reflection of him stared right back. The portrait of Yami was practically identical to its subject, Yami shook his head in amazement at the detail; he hadn't posed for this so Yugi must have drawn it form memory.

Yami remembered Yugi having his sketch pad with him and he often drew a few scenes as they were sitting in the old gang. But Yami hadn't realised Yugi was so talented.

Ryou left silently and left Yami to his explorations.

Yami began to flick threw the drawings, there were some of the gang, less detailed, and then group sketches… but, as Yami moved through them, he noticed a trend; each drawing had himself in the very centre. He looked in closer and saw that there were more rub out marks near his image, as if Yugi had redone it lots of times to get it right.

It was strange, as if Yugi had put more effort into Yami's drawing, even if he wasn't the main event, than anything else. There was one of the gang at the circus, and once again Yami was centre stage, the ringmaster was barely any effort compared to how much detail was in Yami's lines.

Yami carefully closed the sketchpad and moved onto the next object, placing the seen item next to the box so that he didn't repeat his search. He opened another book; it turned out to be a photo album.

The first picture was Yami and Yugi in the shop, only a week after Yami had decided to stay in the present. _March 9th. In the shop with Yami._ Was the title. The two young men were laughing at the camera.

Yami saw that the photo had a protective see through sheet on it, but the book was rather worn, it had been opened and looked at a lot, which made no sense because Yugi had been gone and unable to stick in any more photos.

Yami turned the next page and saw a group Photo; _Yami and the gang; Joey, Mokuba, Seto, Mai, Valon…_ all their names were there. Yami kept turning pages, many memories passed before his eyes; _At the park with Yami. Holiday in Sydney with Yami. Yami at the circus. Yami asleep on the sofa. Yami, Yami, Yami…_

The man frowned as he realised that every picture and memory had himself attached to it. There was never one without him, yet there was one on the back of the book that got him confused. It was the only picture of Teá that wasn't torn up or cut out in some way; _Yami and Teá; Be happy;_ It was Yami and his ex-fiancée at Kaiba' charity ball. It wasn't one of Yugi's Photo's as the quality was different; Yugi must have gotten it from one of the classy magazines or from a reporter.

Yami closed the book, his confusion growing. He knew that Yugi and he had been close, but he never thought that he was a centrepiece in Yugi's world. _But if that was so why did he leave? And why is he upset with Teá?_ Yami glanced at the group photo on Yugi's bedside table; Teá's face cut carefully out.

_Did she do something to him? Was it her fault he left?_ Yami felt another angry surge towards his ex, but placed it aside to continue exploring.

The next items were several postcards; all the tourist attractions of London and some throughout England, attached were some Photo's of Yugi and each postcard held a handwritten letter. _Dear Yami and Grandpa, I hope you're well. I've seen the London Eye today, and been on it, it's like a huge fairground wheel. The price was worth it though, because the views were great. I'll send some of my Photos when I can, lots of love Yugi._

Yami frowned as he saw the date, it was only a few weeks after Yugi had left Japan, and yet the Postcard hadn't been sent. Yami smiled a little when the answer hit him; if he had sent this then those in Japan would have known where he was.

_Clever Yugi. But that means that you really didn't want to be found; why?_ Yami's mood darkened again.

Yami reached in for the next item. He opened the worn and well used leather and blinked at what was on the first page. _The Dairy of Yugi Moto. Please don't read unless you have permission._

Yami hesitated. This was his hikari's diary, and diary's were private and secretive. But, on the other hand, it probably held the reasons why Yugi left, and all the answers to Yami's question. Yami stopped biting his bottom lip, which he hadn't even realised he was doing; and, trying not to feel like he was betraying Yugi's trust, turned to the first entry.

* * *

**March 3rd.**

_Dear Yami._

_I've never kept a Dairy before, it's strange to do one now; but I've decided to keep one so that I don't forget all these great memories. I'll start at the beginning; I'm Yugi Moto, I'm twenty years old and I've just finished extended high school (honorary degree) and I'm keeping this dairy for more than just me; I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to look back at these memories with a very special person: Yami!_

_Anyway, back in the present, we've just got back to Japan from Egypt, and the best thing is that Yami came with me! Yami refused the afterlife because he wanted to stay with us in the present. I can't put in words how happy I am! It's just amazing that he values us so much! Even after we got his name and memories back he still chose us!_

_I'm sorry for the bad handwriting, I just got a little emotional and excited while writing that down. But that's not half my feelings! Or even a fraction! I'm so happy he's here! Grandpa is calling me for tea now._

_Before I go I just have one more thing to say. Seto and Mokuba have been dropping around a lot because they're getting Yami some forged papers sorted. Pass port, birth certificate and all that. And as much as I hate breaking the law I know its necessary._

_P.S. Bakura and Marik stayed as well. I hope tea's burgers! Yum!_

* * *

Yami smiled a little at the first entry. It was very cheerful, but then again Yugi was always cheerful. He had been surprised that the entry introduction was 'Dear Yami' instead of 'Dear Dairy', but he understood when he read on; these entries were letters from the past to Yami. It was a treasury of memories and it eased Yami's thoughts about snooping.

_But not clues to why he left yet._ Yami thought as he moved to sit on Yugi's bed. He inhaled and smiled as he took in Yugi's scent; he hadn't realised how much he'd missed it. The former Pharaoh got comfortable and turned to the next entry.

* * *

**March 9th.**

_Dear Yami._

_It's been ages since I've written! That's very bad of me, so I decided to make it; A specials occasions diary; so when a big event, or one I want to remember happens I'll write it down._

_Today's big event was that Yami's (and Bakura and Marik's) papers were finalised and Yami can now live here as if he's always been here. Ryou and Malik were very happy and we all had a big party, quite suddenly too, in the living room behind the shop. All I remember was bouncing on the sofa and Yami chasing me. __J__ (Between you and me I think someone put something weird in my drink…)_

_When Grandpa threw the others out I dragged Yami outside and asked Ryou to take a Photo of us in front of the shop. He was really nice about it and now I have a memory of Yami's first days with us. I'm in danger of babbling about my feelings again (Happy-happy!) so I'll final it off now._

_Mokuba persuaded Seto to give Yami a job at Kaiba corp. I think Seto just wanted the excuse of being higher up than Yami for a while, LOL. But, Ra knows how, Seto agreed and now Yami's set to start work in a week. I hope he gets along great, I know he's going to be bored in the shop, I'll miss spending time with him and I hope that this will suit him more._

_BTW Marik threw a sticky treacle pudding on Bakura's head. He wasn't pleased and I thought they would have started a shadow duel, except you told me that your shadow powers were gone along with the items. Phew, and the Living Room survives another day!_

* * *

Yami chuckled once before turning the pages; there were a few about his first days at work and he cringed at the thought of first adapting to those ties and tight shirts. After a spot of rebellion he came into work in leather, and though Seto kicked up a fuss; Yami defeated him by pointing out that he didn't wear a shirt and tie either.

Yami won the argument. And he never wore the itchy shirts again. Yami chuckled at his little triumph, he had risked Seto firing him, but he didn't think Mokuba would ever forgive his brother if he did.

Mokuba had Seto wrapped around his little finger.

Yami skimmed for something linking to his disappearance but was sidetracked by an entry for the 4th of April.

* * *

**April 4th.**

_Dear Yami._

_The gang met up completely for the first time in nearly a month I think, I'll have to check to be accurate. Yes it was just under four weeks._

_Anyway. On the outing to the park (On the hottest April day I can remember) we all exchanged news on what we were doing._

_Mai and Valon have gotten together, apparently they did this while we were duelling in Kaiba's tournament. They couldn't be more opposite, but they're perfect for each other. Valon drives Mai around to all her duelling tournaments and Mai lets him live his nomadic life by travelling with him most of the time. Now that's compromise with double the gifts! They look happy, and I'm wishing them a long love life!_

_Valon told us that his motorcycling friends are travelling around making sure all Orichalcos stones are destroyed so we don't have a repeat of Dartz. I think they're very brave to do that._

_Ryou and Bakura plan to go back to England, because Ryou wants to be near his Mother and Sister's resting places. They're together, and I think it'll be good for both of them. Bakura's already gained a few manners. Ha ha!_

_Malik and Marik have gotten together (Practically the day he decided to stay he pronounced his love to Malik; that's very bold, but Malik felt the same and so they're together but they only told us about it now). Ishizu and her brothers, Marik too, are going back to Egypt to sort out their old tombs and run their many museums. Hopefully we'll see them a lot as we plan to return to Egypt often._

_Joey and Tristan got into a bit of a fight because Tristan asked Serenity on a date. Serenity stood up to Joey and said she'd have a date with Tristan. I'm sure he'll treat her right, he's a good person, and Serenity needs someone who can look out for her._

_Joey has a crush on Seto! I swear! I've seen him stare at the guy every time he talks; the dreamy stare really doesn't suit him. Ha ha!_

_Seto seems to be oblivious though, so I don't know what's going on. Mokuba's been getting very friendly with Rebecca, who thankfully has given up on me since she's only fourteen and I'm twenty, and I think I've seen some signs of crushes between them. I hope Seto's not going to make it difficult for them._

_Teá was just being Teá and was asking lots about relationships, which is how I know all this stuff! She also bought us some ice drinks, Yum! Duke couldn't come, but sent a text wishing us the best and saying his branches in America were started to attract some interest._

_Overall it's been a great outing. But something's been happening to me over the past weeks and I'm not sure what to make of it. When I see you, Yami, I feel strange. I don't know what these feeling are, but I'll figure it out. I'm going to talk to Joey, he knows me the best, maybe he can help me._

_When I've figured out what's going on with me I'll let you know. I'm going to bed now, it's been a long day. Bye!_

* * *

Yami leaned back and thought about the entry. It raised more questions. Yami checked the dates of the dairy again and decided to keep reading through it; if there was any hint, he needed to know when exactly things started going wrong.

* * *

**April 25th.**

_Dear Yami_

_Teá's been spending more time with you than I have! I'm a little jealous now, yes I admitted that, I almost long for the past days when it was just you and me talking I my bedroom. But I do prefer you as a solid person rather than a spirit. I hope that things start to go back to normal, the girl is practically living round here!_

_Grandpa's getting tired of her, she's always wearing strange clothes and saying odd things. I know she's been interested in you since she found out about you. I'm guessing it's her nosy nature and she wants to know all about you from now to you're ancient past._

_The plus sides to having her around is; one we're catching up really well since she started taking dance classes, she has to help with chores and dinner (if she stays that long) and we play games like we did in high school. I miss that, Tristan and Joey and Ryou and Teá and me all playing during class. But Ryou's in England and Joey's nearly always working, and Tristan puts Serenity first, as he should._

_But at least I have Teá to help me recall those days._

_I've been hearing around your work when I come to visit; that people admire you and Teá as a couple. I'm not sure what to think of that, for some reason that doesn't sit right with me. I hope that'll clear up, I want the both of you to be happy._

_But enough about her for now. I'm seeing Joey this weekend, I'm going to ask him to help me with my feelings. Teá probably could help, but I'd rather not ask a gossipy girl unless I have to, if you know what I mean. I think another male would be more helpful in answering my questions._

_And if Joey fails I've got Teá to fall back on. I'll name these new feelings and then I'll know where I stand with you. I hope the news is good. See you later._

* * *

Yami didn't pause and went straight onto the next entry.

* * *

**May 1st.**

_Dear Yami._

_I've gotten those feelings a name._

_I went to see Joey for the weekend, he's got his own apartment and I stayed over for the weekend. I brought up my problem and he quickly told me what it was, he didn't even need to hear my whole explanation._

_Yami, I'm in love with you!_

* * *

Yami gasped and gripped the book tightly.

* * *

_I was so shocked and a little scared when Joey first told me, but it felt so right. I feel so at ease, like everything fell into place. It' hard to explain but I think you'll understand. It's more than brotherly love that I've had since I met you, and always more than friendship, I just needed Joey's hypocritical advice to make me see it. (He IS in love with Seto. I gave him advice back and I'm sure he'll try and tell him now)._

_However now that I know there's another problem! How do I tell you my feelings? I know you don't mind me being gay because you're friends with Ryou and Malik, the other two… not so much, but you respect them. But I don't know if you're interested in guys, and even if you are why would you pick me?_

_I'm short, not very strong, not great looking and I barely look older than Rebecca. It's a bit depressing if you think about it. I'm making myself sad just thinking about all this, but I know that Joey'll make me tell you._

_One day I'll have the guts to let you know I love you. (I said it again!) I love you Yami! __J__ I'll write again soon, and I'll try to put something other than just my ramblings into it._

* * *

Yami set the book down in shock.

"Yugi…"

"He loves you,"

Yami jumped and turned to see Ryou standing in the doorway. He was holding another cup of tea in his hands. He was looking down as he spoke. "He thinks the world of you, you know that?"

Yami shook his head "No… I never… he… I…" Yami trailed off when nothing good came of his sentences.

Ryou smiled slightly at his confusion. "I've never heard you stutter. You should read on, then you'll know everything that happened to him since he left." Ryou set the tea on the bedside table, somehow finding a space in the pictures. Yami noticed how he glared at Teá's deformed face.

Ryou stood up and said softly "I'm going to call Bakura, if anything's changed I'll tell you," he promised before going back into the main apartment.

Yami winced as Yugi's condition was thrown back at him, he'd forgotten while lost in Yugi's happy memories. But he had to find out what had gone wrong with Yugi, and the only way to do this was to keep reading.

Yami took a sip of the tea Ryou brought him, it wasn't to his taste but he felt he'd need the caffeine for later, and he opened the next entry.

* * *

**So now you know why the title is Dear Yami. This hopefully does sound like a dairy and not like a poor imitation. I hope you'll review for me, nice long ones!**

**Short Reviews made me feel underappricated. There must be SOMETHING that you liked in this. TELL ME!**


	4. What made him leave

**Updating time!**

**Here is where we get to the heartbreaking stuff. I hope you have your hankies at the ready. I'm sorry for not updating as fast as I could, I'm having a few troubles of my own. Personal stuff that you shouldn't worry about.**

**Please enjoy and review something that will inspire me!**

* * *

**May 4th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I guess I won't be telling you my feelings now._

_I returned from Joey's, and found you and Teá having a conversation in the kitchen. It looked like you were talking about something important, so I knocked to make sure you knew I was there. I don't want you to think that I'm snooping or anything._

_Anyway, when you looked up and smiled at me you told me that you had great news. Teá jumped up and sat in your lap… and kissed you._

* * *

The handwriting was so bad here that Yami got the feeling Yugi had been crying when he wrote this. "Oh Ra…" he whispered, thinking of how heartbroken Yugi must have been at that second. He read on worriedly.

* * *

_I felt like the world had stopped._

_You told me that you were going to try dating. I couldn't say no, you looked so happy to have someone. But why couldn't that have been me? I'm sorry, that's very selfish of me. But that's all I can think of. Teá's so lucky. I'm happy for you both, you're good people so you'll be happy together, it's not fair that I try and keep you for myself when you're in love with someone else._

_I'll find a way through this. I almost wish Joey hadn't been so helpful, I'm not sure if it would have hurt any less or any more if I wasn't sure about my feelings._

_I guess I'll never know. I've got a shift in the shop tomorrow because Grandpa's got a cold. I hope he get's better soon, the work will distract me for a while._

_You know, I want you to be happy, and I hope that we'll still stay close. I'm lucky to have you as a friend, but Teá's the luckiest person alive in my opinion. I'll write again, bye._

* * *

Yami closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. Yugi's entry was blotchy in places, old water stains, and Yami knew it wasn't the rain that had caused them. Yami felt awful, Yugi must have been hurting so much.

"He'd just discovered his feelings." Yami felt a deep depression sinking into the mood of the dairy. It looked like the happy entries were over with. Yami hoped that things would turn out better, but had an aching feeling in his body that had nothing to do with the bruise Bakura had given him. Yami started to think that he really deserved that now…

He turned the next page and jumped at the little sketch of a two hands holding each other tightly. The detail was good as usual, Yami sighed and turned to the next entry.

* * *

**May 10th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_You and Teá are getting along well. The entire group wished your relationship well, including me. You went off on your own with her and Joey was there to be my rock. I don't know how I managed to keep it together, I felt like I was about to break down in tears any second._

_But I managed to cling to the side of me that wished you well, and I kept it together._

_I have only one complaint. You're spending so much time with her, you're either always with her or always talking on the phone. I know you don't do that 24/7 but it's just hard to adjust to the sudden loss in time we used to spend just playing games and talking about our adventures._

_The ones were it was just us._

_I'll try and arrange a 'brotherly night in' sometime soon. I hope you'll agree._

_I'll write again._

* * *

The entry was neater, probably written in a slow remorseful way. It seemed less about special events or occasions and more about his emotions. Yami bit his lip as he realised that the 'Dear Yami' introductions were still ongoing and Yugi probably did this because he wished Yami knew.

_It's like he's writing to his ideal, or to the part of me that would always listen, or myself in the past._ Yami groaned in self hatred when he realised that Teá wasn't the only one to blame. He skimmed over a slightly happier entry. Before turning to the date he dreaded. The happy entry went like this.

* * *

**May 25th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Today was one of the best days in ages. Teá wasn't around and I got you all to myself. We made homemade popcorn, and ended up having a food fight with it, I STILL think I won that battle. :)_

_And when we scavenged what was left we went and watched the Transformers Trilogy. (The only thing that I could rent out of a choice of Spiderman, Superman and The Transformers, LOL). I need to find a new video store._

_The movies were alright, there were some funny parts and you made me laugh a lot, I've missed seeing you laugh at my jokes and I've missed hearing your jokes. I got laughing cramps because of you! It was the best night all week. Scratch that, the whole month!_

_I liked today, I asked if we could do this more often. You agreed and I think that I hit the ceiling when you weren't looking. :)_

_The only downside to this evening was that Teá called and you missed the last half hour of the third movie. I wished she had lost her phone or something. But this is still the best day for a while. I wish we could have these days every week._

_I'll write again soon. Yugi._

_P.S Kaiba invited us to go to the charity ball on the first of June. It'll be fun, I hope. It's for a charity for blind children, Serenity suggested it to Joey who passed it along to Kaiba._

_P.P.S I found out yesterday that they've started dating, actually, according to Joey, they had been secretly seeing each other since Battle City. I know! I'm shocked too! Mokuba didn't know either. I think he had a small heart attack when we were all told, but he seems happy with their relationship. I hope that they'll get along better now… (It's never going to happen is it?)_

* * *

**May 31st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Tomorrow's the charity ball. Everyone's going to be there, even Mai and Valon (Somehow Seto managed to get their location, I have no idea how because they never stay in a place for more than a week). I'm so excited, but I've also made a very big decision._

_I'm going to tell you my feelings at the ball._

_There. I've written it down because it's like a promise to you, because I've been writing to you all this time. Wow I need less depressing topics…_

_You and Teá haven't seen each other for three days, I wonder if you've had an argument. I asked you why she was suddenly absent, because you're normally together and enjoying life. You told me that "Our relationship is going to change at the ball." I'm not sure what you mean by that._

_A part of me dreams that you'll dump her and be with me, like a silly fairytale. I feel so bad for wanting that, I want you to be happy and I know that Teá's the one you want. The other part is just clueless._

_Anyway, your relationship changing made me consider my own feeling and our relationship. I need to tell you how I feel, its killing me not being able to be honest with you. I wish that there could be no more secrets between us. It's like the secrets are pushing us apart. I miss being close to you, I can't get near you anymore. Teá's always there, and she's been acting rather funny lately._

_She's been very possessive of you, I'm not sure if you noticed, but she always makes you sit next to her or where no one else can sit by you, and she's always on your arm, and she buts into your conversations. Maybe that's just me but she's not been letting me spend time with you._

_That's why these last three days have been good. I'll be telling you tomorrow about my love for you. Gods I hope you feel the same._

_Wishing like crazy. Yugi._

* * *

**June 2nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I didn't tell you._

_Last night, when we arrived at the ball you asked Teá to marry you._

_I think I died back then, I saw you tell the DJ to stop playing and then you pulled her from her seat and got on one nee and asked her, in front of everyone, to marry you. She agreed, and th-_

* * *

The rest was just scribbles until halfway down the page.

* * *

_I'm sorry, I can't think about that, I nearly destroyed the dairy just thinking about writing it down._

_Yami, I don't know what to do. I hid in a corridor when the party cheered after Teá said "Yes" and I cried. It was so pathetic of me, but I felt so broken, it hurt so much. It still hurts. I couldn't tell you after that, I was about to, before, but..._

_I rejoined the party a minuet later and you came over and asked me if I was alright. I don't think I cleaned up very well. I didn't know what to say for a moment, I was sure that if I opened my mouth I'd start to cry again. I managed to tell you the only thing that wouldn't hurt our friendship, because that's all we'll ever have now._

_I told you "I'm happy for you". And I am. You deserve to be, I want you to be happy. If you're happy some part of me will be happy too. You hugged me, thanked me, and then went back to your future wife. I couldn't stand to see you together, so I ran outside._

_I hid in the gardens and planned to stay there all night, but Joey and Seto and Mokuba saw me leave. They know about my feelings, but they could only say how sorry they were. I think I cried through each of their shoulders that night. At some point they took me back inside and put me in a guest room._

_That's where I am now. I stayed the night, and I plan to stay here all day as well, I don't think I can face you and Teá yet._

_Goodbye Yami, I don't know if I'll write again. I wish this hadn't happened._

* * *

Yami wiped his eyes for the third time and snapped the book shut before burying his head in his hands. _Oh Ra, Yugi must have been crushed. Gods how much have I hurt him?_ Yami bit his lip until it was about to bleed before standing up and leaving the room.

Ryou was in the living room, he put the phone down as Yami came through. He looked up at Yami and when he saw his teary face, he knew that Yami knew now. "Do you see?" he asked softly.

Yami nodded and shakily covered his mouth. "I had no idea. I-" he broke off and breathed shakily, looking at something else random in the room to regain his composure. "How much have I hurt him?"

Ryou shrugged "Enough to drive him away, are you still in June?"

Yami nodded and wiped at his eyes "June second."

Ryou stood up and said "You have to keep going, all the way to December." Yami gasped and tried to protest but Ryou shook his head "If you want to know what drove him away, and how he's been coping, you have to read to the end," he put the phone back on it's base and tried to offer another way of looking at it "If you think you can't, then you won't know how much you need to make it up to him."

Yami sighed, he dreaded reading back on the months and he dreaded how much pain had been stored away in the little book. In a make believe portal to _him_. To Yami. "I know," Yami eventually sighed out.

Ryou nodded before gesturing to the phone "Nothing's changed, Yugi's still asleep."

Yami closed his eyes as he sighed, though he should have expected it. He winced at the thought of Yugi sleeping in the hospital, it wasn't right, Yugi should have been in the Game Shop back in Domino.

The former Pharaoh sat back on the bed and hesitantly turned to the next entry.

* * *

**June 5th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've finally come back to the Shop. I let Joey think of all the excuses and then let Seto cover up his blunders. You were with Teá, Grandpa put me to bed because I looked hung over. I had been crying again._

_Talk again. Yugi._

* * *

**June 6th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Mokuba and Joey came over to see me. They tried to cheer me up, tried being the key word there. We played video games because going square eyed makes your emotions dull. And I need the numbness._

_Joey told me that "You'll find someone better." Silly Joey, there's only one._

_I'm not going to forget about you and my feelings, Seto picked them up later and told me the only thing that I could agree with "At least you have a part of him." That made me smile a little, because he's right for once. We're always going to have the past, all our adventures and all the memories of just us._

_Even that's a pitiful amount to what I would love to have from you. But it's something that Teá can never have._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**June 8th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I have nothing to say today, except that I haven't seen you for two days. I'll talk to you tomorrow._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**June 9th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Teá had an accident, she tripped and hurt her ankle, you've been at her house all day. It was rude to intrude, so I stayed away and helped Grandpa. Mokuba came by again, I took him to the arcade. It was fun._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**June 15th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've found a way to let out my pain. I've taken up drawing, I've drawn lots, all my memories of you and the special ones. Like when you first came home, and when we spoke in our minds for the first time._

_I'm going to make an album, and call it "My pieces of you"_

_I'll show you one day and we'll be able to talk, just you and me, without Teá around. And maybe we'll continue it with new ones. I'll only keep the ones with you and me of course._

_As I was saying, it helps to let out my pain because I imagine some scenes a little differently than how they really happened. For example- actually I won't give an example, it's too much my hearts wish to put it into words. It's too special for anyone to read, because you can't write down feelings._

_I'm going to show you tomorrow._

_I hope you'll like it, even though there are only about eleven._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**June 15th.**

* * *

Yami looked at the repeated date in confusion until he read on.

* * *

_Dear Yami,_

_I won't be showing you. Teá found my drawings and ripped them to pieces._

_I can't believe she did that, it was my creation and my piece of you._

_She hit me too, my cheek really hurts._

_I'm going to the Kaiba's tomorrow._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami gasped and growled angrily when Yugi's entry revealed another side of Teá. Yugi was too gentle and kind to fight back, and he still considered her a friend as she was still written about respectably. Not what a normal hit victim would say about their bully.

What also got to Yami was that Yugi wrote about his book, his drawings and his 'piece of Yami' first, before saying that he was hit by his childhood friend. Yami groaned in self hatred as it dawned on him that Yugi still put Yami above himself, and how much he cared.

Yami pulled at his bangs in a self punishing way before reluctantly going back to the book.

* * *

**June 17th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Second day at the Kaiba mansion, I had to calm down Joey and the Kaiba's when they found out about my book. Joey was about to go and murder her, I'm sure Seto was too. But I told them that they were only silly drawings. Even if they were special to me, they didn't matter as much as you keeping your girlfriend._

_I don't want you to be upset about this so I'm not going to tell you about it. Teá's your top priority now, and I'm later down the list. As depressing as that is it's true, and there's no point lying anymore._

_Serenity and Tristan found out today, I stupidly left this open on one of the earlier June dates. I can't blame them for reading it, they didn't know. They at once offered their support, Serenity started crying while she was hugging me. Tristan gave me a hug too, and said that you're stupid for not realising that the right person (me) for you is right before your eyes._

_That was very sweet of him, but if I was with you I'd be the only one who was happy, you'd be unhappy and so would Teá. Because you wouldn't be together. I'm staying around here again tonight and going back tomorrow._

_Seto read my dairy too, while Serenity was hugging me, he looked ready to pop a blood vessel and Mokuba had to SERIOUSLY calm him down and blackmail him because he got mad and protective and threatened to fire you._

_Luckily he did calm down, but said that he'd never promote you now. I think Joey was trying hard not to laugh._

_See you tomorrow._

_Love Yugi._

* * *

Yami chuckled slightly at the thought of Seto being all protective of Yugi. _I guess seeing Yugi upset also upset Joey and Mokuba, or maybe Yugi managed to get on his good side._ Yami smirked as he realised that Yugi and Mokuba had saved his career and his life, though now he felt like he hardly deserved it.

He almost wished that Seto had kicked him out, or that Joey had punched him. He felt that Bakura's punch wasn't pain enough. Yami sighed and turned a page, a doodle of the Millennium puzzle was in the middle.

The next page held the next entry.

* * *

**June 18th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Teá stopped me from seeing you today. Every time you left she glared at me and, just as she was giving me a hug goodbye she whispered in my ear "Stay away from him you stupid midget, your in our way"._

_When she left you sat down with me and we had dinner together. You kept going into daydreams. I didn't mind, you're face is very handsome when it has a dreamy expression, like a fairytale Prince's. I wondered what or who you were thinking about. I bet it was Teá, but my heart keeps wishing it was me._

_I wish._

_I hope I'll have more time with you tomorrow._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami frowned, Teá was getting more hostile, according to Yugi's entries. It was a bit unsettling, though he should have expected something bad from her. The fact that Yugi had removed her face from every photo of her plainly told him that she had done something horrible to have been removed like that.

Yami had a gut feeling that her worst was yet to come. With that dreaded thought in his head he turned to the twentieth of June.

* * *

**June 20th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I had a dream about you last night. I'm both ashamed and not because it's a secret desire that I'm not sure I should be writing down in this book. I'll write it, because I don't want to forget it, it was a beautiful dream._

_It was just us in my soul room, and we were playing some games, and talking like we would when you were a spirit. But when you won you said you had won a prize, when I asked what you leaned over and kissed me._

* * *

Yami blinked in surprise.

* * *

_I can't remember how that felt, I was too shocked in my dream to deal with it. But when I recovered you kissed me again, and again. Lots of times. I felt so happy and alive when it was happening, all the pain in my heart was gone._

_But when I woke up it all came back, plus some, because it wasn't real. I cried a bit because I wanted it to be real so badly I think my heart cracked again. You heard me as you were going to work, and you came in and comforted me. You held me and rocked me and told me that everything was alright._

_You thought that I had had a nightmare. I played along because I wasn't sure how I was going to explain that dream to you. When I calmed down I had two whole minuets in your arms before I said I was fine and ended it. Best two minuets ever!_

_You went to work, but I felt happier than I have in a few days. I should have nightmares more often._

_Love Yugi._

_Ps. Teá's been sending me strange text messages. I think I've upset her somehow, I'm going to talk to her tomorrow and sort out the problem if there is one. I hope that it'll be alright soon._

* * *

Yami had a gut feeling that it wasn't going to go well, and the next entry matched his feelings.

* * *

**June 21st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I went to Teá's house today, to ask her about the messages. She at once got mad and started having a rant at me. She said that it was my fault that Yami wasn't spending all his time with her, and that I was getting in the way of their relationship. There were lots of other things that I'd rather not mention because I'd sooner forget them than remember them._

_Basically she told me she hated me, and "Fuck off and die"._

_I'm not sure what I've done, but I think she's being selfish and wants you all to herself, but that's me being hypocritical, because I try and get every second I can with you because I know that one day you'll move out and live your life with Teá._

_Then she'll be able to have all your time._

_I don't think I can fix this._

_Love, Yugi._

_PS. Teá kicked me out of her house while it was raining and now I have a cold. I managed to make Grandpa believe that I'd forgotten my umbrella._

* * *

Yami scowled as he remembered Yugi's cold. He had stumbled through the shop door, only two minuets after Yami had come home from work, shivering and ill with cold. Grandpa and Yami had at once rushed him into the hot shower and then into bed, but it was no good, the next day Yugi was bedridden with a cold.

Yami frowned. _So Teá was to blame for that. But what does she mean "getting in the way"? As far as I can remember, she was always there, Yugi was…_ Yami's thoughts trailed off as he realised where Yugi really was in this scenario. _Yugi was on the sidelines, the background…_

Yami jumped and realised that it wasn't just Yugi. Yami had been so wrapped up in his new life that he'd neglected all his friends in this time period. But Yugi more than anyone because of how close they had been before. Yami pulled at his bangs again and read on.

* * *

**June 22nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've recovered from that cold. I'm back in the shop and I'm going over to the Kaiba household again, they called and wanted to talk to me about how I was coping. I don't think Coping is the word. But I am going over there to talk it out and to get it off my chest, I've been feeling better every time I've done that._

_I'm so lucky to have them, though they hardly replace you. I feel like I'm using them. All I do is tell them my troubles and I can't give anything in return. I'll ask Joey if there's anything I can do. I hope that there is something, I'm feeling guilty._

_Love, Yugi._

_P.S I changed my number so that Teá can't send me anymore mean text messages. I'll give you my new number later._

* * *

Yami nodded, remembering the sudden change in phone. He switched to another position on the bed and began again.

* * *

**June 25th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Serenity and Tristan took me out and we met up with Rebecca. She wanted advice on how to approach Mokuba. Yet somehow it turned into another "spill your feelings". Rebecca threatened to murder you because you were hurting me, I think Rebecca's still overly fond of me._

_Tristan calmed her down and Serenity explained the situation. Rebecca's offered her support to me as well._

_Anyway we had pizza and Tristan asked Rebecca and myself on how to propose to Serenity, when the girl was gone of course. Rebecca offered some very good advice, and I just told him to go with what felt right. Kinda like what you tell me when I'm having a dilemma._

_Tristan seemed happier but still completely lost. Serenity came back and we couldn't discuss it anymore, I think Tristan should have asked Joey. On second thoughts never mind. Joey would have taken his head off._

_I figured out what the couple were doing. They wanted to take me out of the house and away from the depressing reality for a while. I had a nice time, but reality had to return, in the form of you and Teá cuddling on the sofa. I miss our cuddles and hugs. Made me remember all the times I miss the most. I'd love to be held as she was being held. It looked beautiful._

_Wishing for the better. Love, Yugi._

* * *

**June 26th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I heard a great song on the radio and I looked it up online. I think that maybe one day I'll sing it and dedicate it to you. Here's how it goes:_

_"**I'll never be a knight in armour,**  
_**_With a sword in hand,  
__Or a kamikaze fighter;  
__Don't count on me to storm the barricades,  
__And take a stand, or hold my ground;  
__You'll never see any scars or wounds –  
__I don't walk on coals, I won't walk on water:_**

**_I am no prince,  
__I am no saint,  
__I am not anyone's wildest dream,  
__But I will stand behind  
__And be someone to fall back on._**

**_Some comedy - You're bruised and beaten down,  
__And I'm the one who's looking for a favour.  
__Still, honestly, you don't believe me,  
__But the things I have are the things you need.  
__You look at me,  
__Like I don't make sense, like a waste of time,  
__Like it serves no purpose –_**

**_I am no prince,  
__I am no saint,  
__And if that's what you believe you need:  
__You're Wrong –  
__You don't need much:  
__You need someone to fall back on..._**

**_And I'll be that:  
__I'll take your side. If I'm the only one,  
__I'm used to that. I've been alone,  
__I'd rather be. The half of us,  
__The least of you, the best of me._**

**_And I Will be:  
__I'll be your prince,  
__I'll be your saint,  
__I will go crashing through fences  
__In your name.  
__I will, I swear –  
__I'll be someone to fall back on!  
__I'll be the one who waits,  
__And for as long as you'll let me,  
__I will be the one you need.  
__I'll be someone to fall back on  
__I'll be someone to fall back on  
__One to fall back on...__"_**

_That's me Yami. I'll be here for you, and I'll wait. "I'll be your one to fall back on"._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami smiled and made a note to look up this song soon. It sounded beautiful, he sighed and hugged the diary briefly as he felt Yugi's dedication through the words. It made his heart beat strongly, out of rhythm and almost flutter. Yami blinked as he felt those feelings, whenever Yugi signed off 'love' his heart jumped.

"What does it mean?" he whispered, he had a suspicion, but simply turned to the next entry rather than face it now. There was too much going on to worry about his own turmoil at the moment.

* * *

**June 27th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_At the Kaiba's again. It's amazing how they've put up with me. Mokuba and Joey assure me that I'd do the same for them. But I still think they're being very nice, overly nice. They've got to be bored of my heartache by now. But they keep letting me in and giving me a place to stay when being at home is too much._

_I swear Grandpa thinks I live here now. I can't tell him how I feel, he'd give you a hard time about it, or kick you out, or both. And I don't want that for you, I always want you to feel at home in the shop, and with us._

_Teá's been banned from my phone, Seto pulled some strings and had her phone bugged so that it'll shut down every time she tries to message me. I think that's over doing it, but at least she can't reach me by phone now, so I'm glad of it. Secretly I think Seto got too much satisfaction from that stunt._

_We had a sleepover style hang out, where we all ended up falling asleep in front of the television. The movie was Avatar. I had to look away at some of the romantic parts, but the movie was very good. Joey spoilt the ending by snoring, Seto poked him and he rolled over and shut up. It made Mokuba and me laugh, he's got Joey well trained now._

_If Joey ever reads this he'll kill me for thinking that._

_Tomorrow I'm going back home, see you then._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami felt a lump of pain in his throat and chest. Yugi had felt so uncomfortable and so ignored that he had reached out to Joey and the Kaiba's, because they showed him more kindness and gave him more attention than Yami had for ages. More friendship and affection than he should have been giving his hikari.

Yami rubbed at his eye when he felt some tears welling up, sympathy for Yugi's pain and hatred for his own actions. _How could I have been so blind? I'm a poor excuse for a friend if I didn't realise Yugi was hurting so much. That I was hurting him so much._

Yami bit his tongue and kept reading, feeling ready to take the full punishment now, it was close to the day Yugi vanished. He winced as the twenty eighth of June was revealed. He had no fond memories of this day, and by Yugi's bad handwriting and smudge marks of tears, neither did he.

* * *

**June 28th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_You hate me._

_I saw it in your eyes earlier, you really hate me now. I was only trying to help you, why couldn't you have believed me?_

_I went to Teá's house, because I had found her handbag, she must have forgotten it. I was just going to drop it off, but the front door was open. I heard strange noises coming form inside. When I looked, I saw Teá in her room, having sex with Duke Devlin._

_I couldn't believe it! She was your fiancée, she was meant to be loyal to you, and love only you. They saw me and Teá glared before telling me to wait downstairs._

_I did. She looked so angry I was scared not to do as she said. Duke left and she said to me that I wasn't to tell you about them. But how could I not? You were being betrayed by the one you loved. I demanded to know why she was doing this, she hit me again, and said that you were the perfect man._

_You had money, fame and a body to die for. I can agree with the last part. But she didn't mention that she loved you, I asked her, she just laughed and told me that once she had gotten what she wanted she was going to leave you, and then use Duke to get her to America. Then she'd betray him as well._

_I was so shocked. Then I realised that I had to tell you. She read my mind and threatened to make my life hell if I even breathed a word about it. She had her hands around my neck, and she nearly choked me. I was so weak, she had betrayed me as much as you and Duke, I couldn't fight back because I didn't want to believe it._

_When I finally got away, I knew I had to tell you. Hell or not, you had the right to know._

_But you didn't believe me Yami. You got mad at me and you called her to ask her about it, but of course she would lie. You still loved her, and believed her, you shouted at me. You hurt me with what you said._

_You called me selfish, you told me that I didn't want you to be happy._

_How could you think that? I love you, and I want to see you happy! I want to see you smile knowing your life couldn't be better. Teá would only hurt you. I tried but you had chosen who you believed._

_I can't blame you. You love her. Her word is worth more than mine._

_I ran to Joey and the Kaiba's. It was so pathetic, I'm ashamed that I'm so useless. I couldn't confront Teá without getting hurt, and I couldn't help you and now I'm just a wreck with Joey and the Kaiba's. Mokuba's probably changed his shirts three times, I can't stop crying. Even now._

_I'm so sorry Yami! I love you, Yugi._

* * *

Yami wiped his eyes again and again as he read the final words. Even though he had hurt him, directly and purposefully this time, Yugi still loved him. He was still devoted to him. Yami felt a small smile work onto his lips, Yugi was the best thing, friend and companion that Yami could have ever been given.

"I'm sorry too," he whispered to the pages. After a moment he felt silly for talking to a book, but at the time he just needed to send some form of comfort to the Yugi of the past, who had written this to let out his feelings.

He suddenly realised why Teá's face had been torn out again and again. It wasn't because she had hurt Yugi, not at all. It was because she had hurt him! Yami. The former Pharaoh sighed and looked at one of the photographs, Yugi never did this for himself. _E__verything_ he did, was for Yami.

_"He thinks the world of you, did you know that?"_ Ryou's words came back to Yami in a taunting way.

Yami blinked away another tear. "I've hurt you so much," he whispered aloud. _How can I ever attempt to make this up to him?_

But Yugi hadn't left yet. Yami turned the next page and read on frantically to know about Yugi's departure.

* * *

**June 29th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I have to leave._

_I was just about to enter the shop and return to my everyday life of wishing you were mine. But I felt the weight of all that pain come at me and stay there. I knew I couldn't keep up this mask of indifference and fake happiness. Not when I knew the woman you loved would one day crush you, and that you hated me, and that I'd always regret seeing you hurt or in love with the wrong person._

_I can't live that life. I'm not strong enough for that._

_I have to go somewhere where I can cry openly and start again. Somewhere were I won't see memories of you wherever I go, in whatever I do._

_I turned and faced Joey and Seto and told them my decision. Joey was a bit upset and tried to talk me out of it, but Seto just nodded and took me back to the mansion. Seto told Joey to leave and come back when he could deal with my decision, then he sat down with me and we talked about where I wanted to go._

_I told him what I needed in a place. But I gave the place no name because I didn't know where it was._

_But then Mokuba came in with the phone and told us that Ryou was on the line from England. It was as if fate was telling me that this was the place. I've been a part of destiny for so long that I wasn't going to pass up a big a hit as that. When Seto and I talked, Ryou included on loudspeaker, we all knew that this was the place._

_Seto arranged the flight, and Ryou said he'd be there to meet me, I was going to stay with Bakura and him, in their guest room. They have an apartment in London._

_It sounds perfect. I can speak English, as you know, so language won't be a problem._

_The only problem there will be is saying goodbye._

_My flight leaves tomorrow. I'll think of a way. I'll have to._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami sighed. _So that's how Yugi came here._ He turned the page and found the last entry of June.

* * *

**June 30th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I'm on the plane. I've left home_

_I went back in the morning to try and make up with you and to spend my last day with you. Funny, yesterday I couldn't wait to leave, and now I wish I had another week, or another month, to stay here and spend time with you._

_When we all went to bed I began packing my bags, I'd only need a few. Seto had his limo waiting around the corner. He sent me a text and I got up to leave. I placed a note on the table and went upstairs to say goodbye._

_I hugged Grandpa while he slept, I'll miss him. He's been the best Grandpa I could ever ask for._

_I went up to your bedroom and opened the door to make sure you were asleep. You were. I stepped inside and walked up to your bed. I remember your sleeping face, it's my last sight of you, so I made sure to remember every little detail. I reached out and traced your face too, I started to cry but I stayed silent so that I wouldn't wake you up._

_I was about to go when I let myself have one last thing. I kissed you, on the lips-_

* * *

Yami blinked and touched his lips in surprise, he hadn't expected Yugi to have done that!

* * *

_-and on your cheeks. I'll treasure this memory, I swear._

_I left before I did something stupid and made sure that the note was there waiting for you._

_"**Dear Yami and Grandpa. I'm so sorry you have to find out this way, but staying here is just too painful for me, so I'm leaving. I love you both so much, don't worry about me. Joey and the Kaiba's know where I'm going, I'm safe, please be happy. Love Yugi.**"_

_It was such a pitiful note, I know. But what else could I possibly put that would say half of what I wanted to say?_

_I locked the door behind me and slipped it through the letter box, as I was leaving I stopped. I wanted someone to stop me, to yell at me and tell me that I was making a big mistake. I wanted someone to tell me what to do, I wanted someone to catch me in the act and make me stay. But no one did, so I kept walking, even though my heart begged me to turn back._

_Joey and Seto picked me up as promised and got be on the plane. I promised them that I'd send word. I think they've gotten used to listening to my worries, sad as that may sound._

_So here I am. Hundreds of feet in the air, and heading to a place I've never been to before. I can't believe it. I think I've cried about seven times tonight, my chest hurts and I can't talk._

_I've left home. I've left all my friend, without a decent goodbye! And I've left you. I'm not going to see you again. My heart hurts. I want to go back, I want to take it all back! I want to tell you that I love you! I want you to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright._

_But that's not going to happen._

_I'm so sorry Yami!_

* * *

There was no signature in this entry.

* * *

**There you have it, I think I cried about three times when I was writing this. It was hopefully heartbreaking for you too.**

**That was hard, because I wanted it to sound like a dairy but I also needed it to be emotional enough to break hearts and cause tears. I hope I managed that. Please Tell me.**

**Short Reviews made me feel underappricated. There must be SOMETHING that you liked in this. TELL ME!**


	5. July to October

**Updating time!**

**Yeah I'm back! I've had inspires for this.**

**Though I proimse Yugioh Snow White isn't being ignored! I've just been reluctant to end it as I can't find the right way to do it. I don't want just 'kiss, wake up, happily ever after' like they had in the moive (that's the most criticisable part of it in my opinion), even more than the sappy song choices.**

**I'll warn you all now, both humor and more heartbreak. If you can't handle it, skip the entry and read the next one. That's my advice.**

**Please be nice enough to tell me what you think!**

* * *

Yami kept reading over the last line. _I'm so sorry Yami!_ He could almost hear Yugi's voice shouting it at him, he blamed himself for what happened, and for what he did. Yugi was always very kind. He never put blame on others, he continuously shouldered the pain of the world and the blame too.

Yami sat in wonder, how Yugi could have remained so gentle and kind through this pain was a miracle and a mystery. Obviously something must have been keeping his head above the water, Yugi had told him though the entries that Joey and the Kaiba's were his emotional support through this time. Yami made another note to thank them when he got back, because he'd always blamed them slightly for not telling him where Yugi was.

He realised now that keeping him away form Yugi was the best thing they could have done. No matter now much Yami had missed Yugi, the boy needed to be kept from him, so he wouldn't hurt him anymore. The man ran a hand over the blotchy paper, water stains again. It was a miracle that the book was still together, that it could hold Yugi's pain in its pages, and that it hadn't broken with the amount of emotion it held.

Yami finally understood why Yugi had left, before he was content to stay with him and have his friendship, watch his perfect life, and be happy to be a part of it. Even though it would be painful for him to watch. But now Yugi knew that Yami's life wasn't going to be perfect, he tried to warn him but Yami just lashed out at him and now Yugi saw Yami's life going on a crash course. He left because he couldn't bare to see Yami so sad when it finally happened, and he couldn't stay thinking Yami hated him.

_I drove him away. It wasn't Teá. No matter how mean she could have been, it was me who gave him the final push._ Yami bowed his head sadly. "I'm so sorry Yugi," he echoed the diary's words.

Yami turned to the next page and saw a perfect sketch, the envy of any artist, of his sleeping face; Yugi's last view of Yami. By the detail and careful crafting of the lines, Yugi must have poured his heart into it. The drawing was so good that Yami half expected the sleeping him to wake up and stretch. Then maybe shout at him for being such a fool.

Pushing his thoughts aside, he found the next entry.

* * *

**July 1st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I'm in London now, it's not what I expected, it's smaller than you think. There's a lot of traffic and those red buses, and those black taxi's that you see in the old movies._

_Ryou and Bakura picked me up from the airport, they were very welcoming, even Bakura. Ryou's really tamed him, a miracle in itself in my opinion. But he's not quite the gentleman yet._

_They drove me to their apartment, it's very nice. Homey. I was shown my room, it's just what I need really. I've got a small bed, a wardrobe, a chest of draws and a bedside table. It'll suit me just fine. I unpacked and we all had a snack, because it was too late for dinner, before gong to bed._

_I shut the door and only managed to get changed and into bed before I started crying again. I'm very pathetic, I know. But I missed you, I missed home and Grandpa and the shop. I missed my bed. But I missed you the most. I looked at all my photographs and drawings of you, though it's hardly what I want. I want the real you, and I just want you to hold me and tell me it'll be alright._

_I'm in a strange place, I know that Ryou and Bakura will look out for me, but I wish I had something of you here._

_Until I fell asleep at one in the morning I kept calling for you, I kept wishing you were here. But you won't hear me, I'm on the other side of the world, and it's never felt so far. I wish I hadn't left. I wish I hadn't left you that stupid note!_

_I miss you so much._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami's face fell even more. He had secretly hoped that Yugi would suddenly bounce back into his cheerful self. But clearly he didn't know how deep the wounds were, it would take time to recover from such things. Was six months enough, he wondered.

There was only one way to find out. He looked at the next entry.

* * *

**July 2nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I had a nice day with Ryou and Bakura. They made me a nice meal, I tried to help, but Ryou insisted that I was a guest and only allowed me to tidy up the table. Over the meal we learnt about each other._

_Ryou had a job as a chef in a local restaurant, World food. Apparently every day they have a special from a different country. Bakura said that it wouldn't do much good after it had run out of countries to 'copy cat', in his words, it was a good point. But Ryou said that there was more than one cultural meal for each country, so his workplace is safe for a while._

_Speaking of safe, Bakura's a security guard, he has a gun and tazer and good old fashioned pepper spray. I'm not sure whether the guy who employed him was insane or not thinking straight. Bakura? An ex thief as a security guard? Of a bank as well!_

_Ryou laughed when I paled, he said that Bakura had fixed his ways, and as an outlet to his old thieving ways has also taken on a second job, a rarer one too. He tests security systems. So basically he's called up and ASKED to break into a place to test it, he says that the reason he always gets through is because they're all based on very similar models. Figure out one and the others are bound to be similar._

_Ryou was quite proud of that, and Bakura earns a lot, as every time he does it they improve it until it's almost flawless. Almost being key as Bakura's not failed yet. Old habits die hard._

_Seeing them be all, lovey-dovey and affectionate was a bit hard to stomach. I had to excuse myself as soon as we were done to give them a moment. They're yami and hikari like us, I wish we were like them. They seem so happy, they complete each other and I can feel their emotions because I'm like them. Or like Ryou._

_They're what I wish I had with you._

_I sent an email to Joey and Seto, to tell them that I'm fine. I asked them to pass on my tellings to you and Grandpa. I hope that you're not mad at me, please, if you hate me I'd rather die. I couldn't stand it if you hated me for what I've done._

_Ryou and Bakura know what I'm going through, they're helping me, because they're like me. I hope they'll help me recover, or live with it. I had a cry on Ryou's shoulder for a while, before I went to bed. I've been nothing but a pile of tears for ages. I want to stop crying, I want to stop bleeding inside, I want the hurt to stop._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**July 5th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've been taken on a tour of London now. I've seen all the sights, and we're going to visit some of the more important ones in more detail on other days. We went to the London eye, the houses of Parliament, Downing Street and we went to see the crown jewels. London's museums are very interesting too. Though that ended our trip early because we ran into an Egyptian exhibit, that caused one too many painful memories for me._

_Bakura and Ryou didn't mind that I wanted to go home, I think they've seen these things so many times it bores them. Though Ryou showed a lot of pride for his country too. We had another meal in, Ryou's an excellent cook, Bakura jokingly said with Ryou around I'd soon bulk up. I'm not that skinny am I?_

_I didn't cry today, though I'm not sure if I'm saving that for later or if it's the first steps to recovery._

_I'll let you know when I know._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami sighed at the monotone 'voice' the diary had become. It was replaying events and avoiding emotions. _I want to know how much Yugi's been hurting, I don't want to hear these storytelling events._ He frowned and skimmed over a few more entries.

* * *

**July 10th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Bakura and I surprised Ryou at his restaurant. It was their anniversary and Bakura had bought Ryou some tickets to go and see a bank Ryou liked. Dublin Raiders, I think they were called. Irish I know, but Ryou likes their cheerful music._

_Bakura secretly told me that he wasn't sure about sitting through a few hours of that, but I assured him that Ryou would make it bearable. I had the apartment to myself that evening and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up as they came home and had to quickly clear up so they wouldn't know. I didn't want to spoil Ryou's date._

_They did have a great time, even Bakura had a real smile. I'm happy for them._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**July 15th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Seto and Joey called from Japan and asked me how I was doing._

_I told them all positive things, before asking about you. They told me that you were upset, and that you had started to look for me. I'm touched. I never thought you'd spend the time to do that. Joey told me that Grandpa was coming to terms with it very quickly, though he was sad, he wasn't angry or depressed. That's good, he didn't deserve anything like that._

_Apparently Teá's pissed off that you've spent so much energy looking for me. Joey said that she was going to explode in anger when all Yami could ask about was if she had seen me, and if she knew why I had left._

_For some reason she didn't tell you my feelings, I'm sure she knew. She didn't tell you about her hurting me either, but what can you expect from a girl like that?_

_Hearing about you made me miss you more than ever. I wish I could hold you again._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami smiled slightly. When Yugi had ran away -Yami hated thinking of his disappearance like that, he always thought 'vanished' instead of run away, because Yugi was always there, there was no reason for him to leave, but now it was clear- Yami had spent ages looking.

He was frantic to know if he was alright, he wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to fix things, he hated that the last proper conversation was still influenced by their argument. Or… his lose of temper and lack of faith. Yugi hadn't argued, he'd only pleaded.

Yami remembered his face now more than ever, it was so meek. Yami had singlehandedly emotionally beaten Yugi back into the scared child he was when they had first met.

Yami traced over the repeated sign off. 'I miss you. Love, Yugi'. It was on every entry, from since he left he was always missing him, just as much as Yami missed Yugi.

Yami turned to see if the trend continued.

* * *

**July 22nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ryou took me to get some new clothes, I didn't bring that much with me and I've quickly ran out of things to wear. Ryou made it fun though. But I had a few reminders of you where I hadn't expected them._

_Can you believe it? In London I'd been seeing the very same brand of leather you always wear, and a stall selling Egyptian souvenirs? I couldn't. I nearly lost Ryou in the crowds. He hurried me away, but the damage had been done._

_The day was alright after that. Bakura had a takeaway ready for us when we got back. An Indian. I was glad he chose something foreign, I'm glad it wasn't anything familiar._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**July 29th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've started looking for work. I feel that I'm taking advantage of Ryou and Bakura. Ryou assures me I'm not, but they're housing and feeding me and I'm not earning my keep._

_There's not been anything good so far. I'll keep looking._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**August 1st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've found a job. I'm going to work in a little tea shop, I was lucky to find it, jobs are hard to come by in London. According to Ryou Bakura's been through five until he got these relatively permanent ones._

_The shop is greasy and I'm not sure about my boss, but I'm grateful for this job. It's better than sitting around doing nothing._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**August 3rd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I got sacked. The shop owner is very bad tempered and I saw drugs behind the counter. I told Bakura and he tipped off the Police. According to the reports on the news the man was a drunk and a junkie._

_I can't believe I worked there. Bakura scared off the men who wanted to question me, it was rather funny really. I wish you could have seen their faces when Bakura shouted and kicked them out._

_Even Ryou was trying not to laugh._

_Today was both shocking and hilarious. But I still miss you and Grandpa, be well and happy._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami chuckled as well, Bakura would have scared anyone who hadn't been to the shadow realm and back. Those policemen much have had heart attacks. But what really got to Yami was that Yugi had nearly stumbled into trouble again.

"You can't live a normal life, can you aibou?" he asked the book fondly. Yugi's long silent laughter rang in his ears, almost like it was agreeing. Yami blinked and the sound vanished, he looked around in shock, hoping that he wasn't going insane with stress. Nothing was out of the ordinary so Yami kept reading.

* * *

**August 7th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ryou's put me in charge of cleaning the apartment, until I can find a better job. And trust me I'm going to be picky this time. I want something that won't cause me more trouble this time!_

_I didn't find anything on the first day. But you hardly ever do, do you?_

_On the down side, I've got a lot of free time on my hands. And what better to do that think of you and let out any tears. I don't want Ryou and Bakura to worry about me even more. I broke down worse than even I would have thought. If that wasn't enough, you called me today._

_My mobile showed your number. I held it in my hand while it rang, debating on whether or not to answer you. I flipped it open and pressed record and answer. I heard your voice. My god! You have no idea how good and painful that was. I didn't speak, I just let you shout down the line for me._

_I killed the call ten seconds after I answered it. It was wrong of me to have answered. I cried and cried after I threw the phone to the other side of the room. I've wanted to hear you for so long, but I know that every time I hear you it will be that much harder not to answer, give in, and run back to you and the life of pain I was so sure I had left._

_It's like the ghost of my past followed me, as cheesy as that sounds it feels the closest I can describe this situation. I try and leave, but I let myself get dragged back. I want to go back, but I promised myself I can't._

_I want you and Teá to settle down, and live happily forever. I want you to smile and laugh and just be You. I want you to love and to always be strong and soft at the same time. When I say soft, I mean caring. I want you to be everything I believe you to be, and I want you to have everything you deserve. And that's a perfect life._

_I'm worried that Teá might hurt you, but you're perfect, she'd be mad to carry through her threat. You'll be happy together, you'll be happy with her. I want that for you, it's all I've wanted for you._

_I tried to delete the recording of your voice, but I couldn't. I'm going to try again tomorrow._

_I miss you. I love you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami sighed miserably, trying to call Yugi to assure himself had only hurt him more. Yami set the book in his lap and thought for a while. _I hurt him with everything I do, maybe I should have stayed away. Maybe I should just go back to Japan and…_ Yami shook his head, his chest aching with the very thought of leaving. He had to stay and make sure that Yugi was alright.

He had clearly been a bad friend before, he wanted to make it up now by being there for him. _Yugi's always been there for me and he's always helped me. I've got to be there for him._ He nodded and smiled as the ache lessened, but it didn't go.

* * *

**August 14th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've started drawing again. It's been a good pastime once the apartment is all clean and the washing has been collected. And the shopping as well._

_The drawings are of us, the gang I left behind. I'm going to start with all of us, when we were all just friends and nothing more. Everyone. We'll be in the park and we'll be having a good time, not worries. Though I don't know if I'll be able to draw Teá without making her a harpy._

_I've restarted my pieces of you, in a way. It's now 'my old life'._

_It's going good. I've also written my first letter to you. I'm going to ask Ryou to send it. Ever since you called I've felt the need to tell you that I'm okay, in my own words. It won't tell you where you can find me, I still don't know if I'll ever be able to face you._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**August 18th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've been having really vivid dreams of you. They've been scaring me a little, well they did at first. But now they're nice._

_At first you looked a little angry, and betrayed. I thought you'd start to shout at me, but then you smiled and just held me. I was so at peace when you did this in my dream. I felt very safe, like I could live forever. When I woke up I had a five minuet cry before realising it was only one in the morning and falling back to sleep._

_My second dream of the night was a bit more… More, than the other one._

_You and I were in the puzzle and we were holding each other, you were crying and kept asking me where I was. I just cried and told you that I couldn't tell you. We kept having that little conversation until Ryou woke me up for breakfast. I asked him to hold me because I felt like I was about to fall apart. I know I'm hurting you, not saying where I am. And that hurts me._

_The rest of the day was drawings and trying not to think of those dreams. The first one was nice, the second one was the truth. I'm hurting you, I'm sorry._

_I miss you so much._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami forced a little smile and made a mental note, though it was more a mental list now, to hold Yugi more often. The way he described a simple act, the comfort and emotions he gained from it, it made Yami see them differently. He would hold Yugi for hours if it would make up for all the hurt.

Yami's chest hurt again and he paused to think about the ache. It had started ever since Yugi had admitted to loving him, it became noticeable when he began to hurt and it made him feel like sobbing whenever Yugi admitted his pain to the entries. To him.

_What is this feeling?_ Yami shook his head after a moment and decided to talk to Ryou and Grandpa, possibly even Bakura, after this was over with. He needed to know.

* * *

**August 20th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I'm still having dreams. They're getting more intimate. I'm almost ashamed to write it down, but once or twice they nearly bordered on wet dreams. What wouldn't I give to be treasured that way by you? I loved every second more than I can say. I felt so loved in your arms, every kiss made my heart sing and ache at the same time. Teá, Duke, Grandpa, and all of life's troubles weren't in my mind. I just had you, and your touches._

_It was heaven. I swear I was in heaven._

_I only regret waking up. Because reality came back and my dream was just nothing but a silly fantasy. From silly me._

_Nothing interesting happened today._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami was a bit surprised that Yugi, who was so innocent looking, could have such 'fantasies' locked inside him.

Deciding not to dwell on the new information too long he kept reading.

August and September passed in very similar trends. Every time Yami was sure Yugi's tone was lightening and that he'd heal soon, something happened that reminded Yugi of him, or Teá or of some kind of pain from before, and he'd be back to square one. One step forwards two steps back.

The entries got even more depressing and tearstains were showing again. Yami was shocked that Yugi had suffered for so long. _Why hasn't he gotten over me?_ He wondered.

_He loves you!_ A little voice tried to shout. _He loves you too much to let you go._

Yami pulled at his hair again and finally acknowledged the growing voice inside him. Yugi did love him, and no matter what Yami did, Yugi would always think of him that way. Yami smiled slightly as he released his abused scalp. _Precious little Yugi._

Yami jumped, _did I really just think that?_ The strange new emotions were becoming more insistent.

No they weren't new, he corrected himself, they'd been around for a while. But now they were getting louder, more insistent and stronger. Yami felt a little revelation coming on.

_I'll work that out later._ He thought firmly and turned back to the book.

* * *

**October 1st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I'm spending more time asleep than awake._

_I'm trying to spend as much time with my dream you as possible. Because that's something I'll always have to myself. I wish you could hold me like that, I wish you could tell me that you loved me, that you would always be there for me. It's so painful to wake up._

_I never want to wake up now. I don't want to open my eyes, or move, or do anything other than sleep and be with you._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

_P.S Ryou found my sleeping pills. I'm going to have to do some _serious_ explaining later._

* * *

**October 9th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_The dreams are killing me!_

_Last night I had one that made me never want to sleep again!_

_We were in a beautiful place, it might have been Domino park in the spring, but I can't remember. You were there, I ran up to you and tried to throw my arms around you, but you dodged me, with a loving but knowing smile._

_I tried to catch you a few times, but you wouldn't let me near you. I gave up and stood still, you came up to me and held me then. I tried to hold you back, but you just dodged me again. I tried to speak, you covered my mouth and shook your head. I started to cry, you wiped my tears away but remained so distant it hurt. It made me cry more, but you wouldn't let me hold you. I needed you._

_I stood still and you held me, I kept standing still and you did other things like kiss away my tears and my lips, you never let me return anything!_

_That's when I realised what the dream was telling me. I was yours, but you weren't mine. You could and can do anything you wanted to me, but I couldn't, because you weren't mine. I fell to my knees in the dream and cried my heart out. Cliché I know, but that's the only way to describe the hurt._

_I felt you comforting me, but it only hurt me more. I wanted to hold you, and to love you, but you weren't mine, you aren't mine, I CAN'T do that. I don't have the right._

_I woke up in tears and I was glad that I was alone. I don't think I've cried this much since the ball. Why do the gods torture me?_

_I don't know what to do._

* * *

Yami dried his eyes yet again as the lump in his throat and the pain in his chest drew more tears from him. This wasn't signed off. Yugi must have been too distraught to. Yami couldn't blame him, that dream must have been torture.

He found that there were more blank spots between the dates now. There had been little fillers on the others like 'I have nothing to say, I miss you. Love, Yugi.' but some days were just blank.

Yami turned the page and his heart froze at what he read.

* * *

**October 11th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I can't go on._

_I'm so sorry, but I've decided to end it. It's too painful to keep going, there's nothing to live for if you don't love me. I've been putting it off for so long, but now I can't take it._

_I love you so much, please don't be sad, be happy. I hope that death will bring me peace. I love you._

_Goodbye._

* * *

**Before you all throw hissy fits! Look at the dates and remember that this story started in December! Okay?**

**I'll update this soon, because I've just gotten into the swing of this story and I've got so much inspiration for the entires. BTW Magi Magi? I DID spell diary wrong in the last few chapters, sorry!**

**Please tell me:**

**1) if there's an element you liked.**

**2) if I should give Yugi a break after this.**

**3) What Yami should do when he gets to December?**

**Thank you for you inputs and support. Love Amme-chan. Have a great New year.**


	6. The end of the entries

**Updating time!**

**Next Chapter! I'm on a roll!**

**Yugioh Snow white is, unfortunately, in a bit of a pickle. I HATE how the ending is going. I'll be honest. I've finished it twice and completely restarted it to try and get it right, I just don't like it. I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting, but I won't post it until I'm happy with it.**

**Don't hate me!**

**BTW Some very specail people appear in this chapter, give me a shout if you recognise yourselfves my buddies! *hugs and cookies!***

**Please read on and enjoy.**

* * *

Yami let out a silent shout of denial before frantically turning the next page.

He nearly cried in relief when another entry was waiting for him. _Silly anyway, this was in October, and it's two months later._ Still he wouldn't lie that the suicide note hadn't scared him.

_I never realised that Yugi had come _that_ close to…_ Yami's mind reeled as he thought of what pain would drive someone to give up trying to survive it. It made him want Bakura to come home and punch him another twenty times. Or more! One hundred!

Yami read on, curious to know what had changed Yugi's mind, and relived to know that something did.

* * *

**October 12th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I couldn't do it._

_When Ryou and Bakura left in the morning to go to work I got a knife and sat on the bed, I planned to simply cut and have it over with. But when I touched the metal to my wrist I froze._

_I was so sure I wanted to do this, I thought I knew what I wanted._

_I couldn't move._

_Half of me screamed "Do it" and the other half screamed "Don't"._

_I sat there all day, not moving and barely breathing. When Bakura and Ryou came home six hours later I was still in the same position. Bakura was the first to see me._

_He shouted in panic and knocked the knife out of my hands, he knocked me off the bed too. I burst into tears as soon as I hit the floor, he thought the he'd hurt me, he kept asking if I was alright. Ryou moved the knife back into the kitchen and got me a warm drink, as well as some other things to try and calm me down._

_I just cried and babbled out all my emotions. And Bakura listened to them all, he just sat there and rubbed my arm and let me cry. Ryou tried to make me stop a few times, but Bakura encouraged it._

_Later I figured out why he did that. When it was over I had nothing left to cry out. And I just passed out because there was nothing left._

_When I woke up they began to ask me why. I answered all of their questions, Bakura acted as a better source of comfort than Ryou did. I don't know why, but Bakura's lack of concern, on the surface anyway, was better than Ryou's expressions. I knew that nothing I ever could say would make Bakura cry and get depressed. He's just not that type of person. That's why I said and admitted to everything, only leaving some of the really personal things to myself._

_When it was over Bakura said only three things, but they made me think._

_"Well it's his loss that he didn't pick you, sluts like her are a dime two dozen"_

_"It's not like you've lost him"_

_"You haven't got it the worst"_

_Crude comfort. But he's right. Bakura lost his entire home, family, neighbours and friends in his past life. So I can't really compare my loss, painful as it is._

_I'm not sure where that leaves me though. Ryou let me have my pills back so I can sleep soundly, and he's promised to find me some work to take my mind off things. Ryou's good when you need advice and comfort, but what I needed was Bakura's advice which basically told me:_

_"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something"_

_I'll think about what I'm going to do._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami pursed his lips and finally Bakura's protectiveness came into light. He thought of Yugi as a little brother, and Ryou obviously cared for him very much too. If Bakura saw Yugi as family, then it made sense that he'd be pissed at Yami for hurting him.

Bakura's words finally made sense.

_"You know _exactly _why he deserved that! It's his fault Yugi's in there!"_

_"It hurts doesn't it? Believe me its only part of what you should be feeling."_

_"Why are you even here? Why aren't you cuddling up to that whore of a wife you made a fiancée out of?"_

_"So you put him through all that for nothing, I hope you hurt as much as he did when you found her banging another man,"_

_"You're not allowed to see him."_

_"You're not hurting him again."_

Everything fell into place. If Yami hadn't of driven Yugi away, if he hadn't of been the stupidest man since… whenever, then Yugi would have never been in the way of that car.

Yami flinched when he thought of Yugi being hit my one of those metal monsters. It seemed so evil to do that. Yugi was too good to have been hurt like that.

Bakura was right.

* * *

**October 17th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've had a lot of time to think things over. I'm going to find work, but this time it will be useful work. If I can make someone's life better, then maybe I'll find out how to feel better._

_Bakura's become a bit like an older brother. It's weird, how many times has he tried to kill me?_

_I've lost count._

_Anyway, he's always asking about things, and because he's so blank towards emotional stuff I know that I can say anything and that he'll either take the mick or forget about it. Ryou and I talk about the future and casual things, Bakura and I can talk about the past and the painful things and he seems to make it better, or he gives me another way of looking at it._

_It's still very painful and I've cried more in a week than anyone alive. And it still hurts more than losing an arm. I still feel like I'm bleeding inside. And I don't think that'll ever go away._

_I still miss and love you._

_Yugi._

* * *

**October 20th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ryou came home early and quite excited about something. When I asked what about, Bakura was out being a thief and testing defences, he said that he'd found me the perfect pastime._

_I was really confused until he said that a regular at his restaurant put up a poster requesting some volunteers for the children's hospital. Apparently they needed playmates and childminder volunteers._

_I wasn't too sure about it, but Ryou's insisting that I give it a try. Apparently he thinks that doing good for others will help me too. Let's see if he's right. We're going to sign me up tomorrow._

_I hope that it won't be too hard, I know what annoying children are like._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**October 21st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I went to sign up today. I was still very unsure about it at the start of the day, but now I'm suddenly all for it. Call me crazy, but I met a little girl there who made me see things differently._

_It's a little ironic that she made me see when she can barely see herself. And even more that she's not even half my age._

_When I was introduced to the children, they told me that I could only mind a few at a time because otherwise they'd never get used to me, and I them. Something about psychological and relationship health, it seems overly done since they're already looking out of their physical health. However I see their logic, and it's good to know that the children are in good hands._

_Anyway, I was a bit unsure of what to do when I saw a young girl sitting in a corner, all shy and by herself, and she was glaring at a book._

_I was curious to why she was glaring, so I went over and asked her. She looked up and glared at me, only then I realised she was squinting, very badly. She told me that she was trying to read, but she was partly blind. The doctors told me she has __Cataracts, they said it was rare in a child of only eight but not unheard of._

_Anyway, back to Sapphire, that's her name: Sapphire Wolfe. She was very frustrated that she couldn't read properly, so I offered to read for her. Read aloud. She was a bit unsure as she wanted do it herself, as most children want to do. So I told her that if she didn't like me reading to her she could tell me to stop. That seemed to make her happier and she let me read, it was the "Wind in the Willows". Though I've never read the books myself, they're very good._

_When Sapphire wasn't squinting that badly you can tell she's blind. Her eyes are milky in the pupils. It makes her look like she's in a trance a lot. She liked my reading and laughed a lot. At the end of the day, I was as sad as her to have to leave. She made me promise to come back._

_I wasn't sure I could promise that. After all, the hospital staff hadn't told me that I was accepted. Almost like they were mind readers they said that I would come back, as I had passed their test. Apparently you can only be accepted if the children like you. Sapphire was really happy, and so I promised to come back._

_I never thought that reading a book to a little girl would change me. I realized that I was helping her, she wanted me, not the hospital staff. She wanted someone normal. It only hit me as I was leaving._

_When Ryou asked me if I had signed up I could only nod. I was a bit absent minded, thinking about Sapphire and about my new 'pastime' as Ryou called it. I think it'll be good for me._

_I miss you._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami smiled, Yugi's tone was a lot lighter. _If I ever meet this girl I'll have to thank her._ But, another thought said that she wouldn't understand what she had done. Yugi had only just touched on it, but she had provided a distraction that was good enough to background most, if not all, of Yugi's pain.

Ryou's idea had been a hit apparently, and because Yugi had been accepted Yami was sure that there would be some improvement to Yugi's mood.

* * *

**October 22nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_My first official day on the job and I arrived five minuets early, you can't trust London traffic, its ridicules! I swear the lights only let four cars through at a time, on purpose! It's like they want bad traffic to be London's trademark!_

_Sorry about ranting. Come to think of it, I haven't done that in a while. Even Bakura commented on my better mood._

_I went back to see Sapphire and the other children in her ward. She shares a corridor with three other girls and one 'irregular', as she's called._

_The irregular is a girl who only stays one night a week because she only needs to come in for some sessions then she can go home until the next day. But, because it's such a long journey for her, they've reserved a bed so she doesn't have to sit six hours in a car in one day. That's very considerate. I haven't met her yet, she's due in two days, but the others are staying, they're very nice girls._

_There's one called Crystal, she had blond hair that's got red and blue at the ends. She was a little quiet because she was on heavy pain medicine today, according to her nurse. She's due to have her appendix out because it's been causing her pain lately. But because she's only seven they're waiting a day to make sure that she'll be strong enough to go through surgery._

_On the other hand, her bed mate Ashley is a real chatterbox, she's got black hair and she's very witty, though she's only seven. She's a very tough girl though, she got into a fight with her older brother and ended up falling down the steps in her home. She's got lots of bruises and three broken ribs. But that doesn't stop her trying to be a war heroine._

_The final girl was a dog lover, she had a teddy bear puppy and a big picture of her dog on her bedside table. She was called Magi, she likes her name to be said twice for some reason. Magi-Magi. She sounds American. She's got the flu, and has to wear a mask over her mouth so that she doesn't pass it on to her roommates. She's very pleasant though she asks a lot of questions. She loves Disney and insists that she'll write 'Tangled' her way before the Spring._

_Sapphire was glad to see me, she at once jumped out of bed and left her cane to give me a hug. She introduced me to her friends and we all started talking, we got along really well. The girls got into a heated debate over which Disney Princess was the best, bless them. Though Ashley insisted Mulan was the best, because she was "An awesome soldier-woman!" and at once tried to run around pretending to slay a dragon or something._

_Even with three broken ribs!_

_I managed to get her back in bed before she got into trouble, and calmed them down enough to play quietly. Crystal got a bit distressed when her pain medication started to run out, I had to find the doctor before she started crying. Luckily I didn't have to go far and she was alright after two more minuets._

_She told me that she's scared of her operation, and I asked her what her favourite thing was. Crystal said it was a duel monster of all things! She said her favourite card was Black Magician of Chaos, she said that she remembered how Pegasus had been beaten with that card, and it always stuck with her. I told her that, if she was very brave, that I'd let her see a real Chaos card. She cheered up at once, shooting out of her sleepy state to give me a hug and kiss._

_She promised to be brave, and I hope all goes well. She's being operated on now, I'll hopefully see her fully recovered tomorrow._

_Hoping for the best._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami chuckled as he read the entry, the longest one in a while. Ashley sounded feisty, Sapphire sounded friendly, Crystal sounded sweet and Magi_-Magi_ sounded very creative.

Strangely enough, Yami hadn't noticed that Yugi had taken his deck with him. It was so unusual to see him without it before he vanished that Yami just assumed he had taken it with him to continue duelling. But this was the first time it had been mentioned in the diary entries.

He eagerly turned a few page of doodles and sketches to read what happened next.

* * *

**October 23rd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Crystal__ was okay!_

_She was more than okay, she proudly showed off her operation scar, it was a little disconcerting, I always thought she was the shy type, but as soon as she saw me she shouted "Yugi! Look!" and pulled her pyjama top up a little to show off her tummy and her scar. "I'm brave!"_

_It convinced me. Ashley looked almost jealous of the scar and began drawing scars in marker all over her arms. Magi-Magi had been asleep, but woke up in time for me to get my cards out. She at once jumped over and began asking lots of questions; had I duelled before? Was I good? What cards did I have? Did I know the King of Games?_

_I have to say, twenty questions later, and she still was firing away. But when I finally found the illusive card in my deck, Crystal's face made it all worth it. She beamed and held it very carefully. I think she was holding onto the moment because she was reluctant to give it back._

_Sapphire and Ashley, Magi-Magi too. All looked at the other cards, begin very careful because I explained that they were important to me. Sapphire decided that Silver Fang was her favourite. Ashley pouted, battle scarred and all, and asked if I had Red Eyes Black Dragon._

_I told her that I had seen it before, and began to sketch it for her. I say 'began' because they soon had me involved in more of Magi-Magi's twenty questions. All about duel Monsters, I think they'll be great duellists when they're older. They've definitely got the knowhow at their young ages. They just lack experience._

_I think I groaned with them when the nurse said it was time for them to go to bed and for me to go home. I've really enjoyed being with them. I even promised that I'd be back tomorrow, that cheered them up._

_When Ryou picked me up he asked how they were and I couldn't stop talking about how great they were until we were almost home. Ryou laughed and said that they were clearly good for me, and said that this was the first time he'd seem me smile in ages._

_I'm looking forwards to tomorrow._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami chuckled again, Yugi was so much happier. He hoped the trend continued.

* * *

**October 24th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've finally met the little 'irregular'. Her name is Dia and she comes in for Physiotherapy one a week, because she broke a leg and had it in a hard cast. She's eight, and she walks with a funny limp because her leg is so used to being in a cast, her ankle doesn't quite move right and she can't roll weight over her foot very well. It just stays in the back of her foot and that's why she's having these sessions. They're meant to help her move right again._

_She was left in my care while her parents talked with the doctor and she was really friendly with the girls, and with me. She liked giving hugs and got into a big discussion with Magi-Magi about her Tangled story project. They've described a character with brown eyes and long white hair. Sounds a lot like Ryou to me._

_Anyway, Dia is a great girl, she's got a good mind as she drew a nine tailed 'baby' fox, and I was as sad as the rest of them to see her leave. I hope I'll see her again._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami noticed that the entries were flowing, more like they did at the beginning, events and feelings, the important things, mixed with rants an opinions. It seemed more lively and… more… Yugi.

Yami read on, hoping to hear more about the girls and how they'd help Yugi.

* * *

**October 28th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I came into the hospital at my normal time, but the girls were all asleep. According to the staff they had been up late talking._

_I sat in a chair and waited for them to wake up. Sapphire woke up first, and I remembered to voice my presence as her eyes weren't the best. She cheered and ran over to give me a good morning hug. Crystal and Ashley got up soon after, Magi-Magi complained about the noise, but soon ran and hugged me too when she realised when I was there._

_I felt very warm with all the hugs, it was like Christmas had come early for them, they were that excited. I gave out drawings of their favourite cards, as I couldn't possibly part with the real things, and I didn't have a few of them._

_Black Magician of Chaos for Crystal. Red Eyes Black Dragon for Ashley. Silver Fang for Sapphire. And Kuriboh and the Kuriboh brothers for Magi-Magi, as she didn't have a decided favourite. She seemed pleased as I had also drawn her playing with them._

_She showed me a few pages of her version of Tangled. It looks very promising, maybe Sapphire, Crystal and Ashley will be the duellists and she'll be an authoress. Speaking of books, I brought in a few news ones and read them for most of the day, taking breaks for lunch and to see Ashley's re-enactments._

_In sleeping beauty she made me be the Dragon and convinced Crystal to be the Princess. Magi-Magi and Sapphire were the audience or the 'helpful magic fairies' as they kept running up to us and saying that we should have done or said this before breathing fire or pulling out a sword._

_Ashley had lots of fun being the hero. And I swear I saw both Crystal and Ashley blush when she kissed her cheek at the end. When Magi-Magi pointed out that it wasn't on the lips Sapphire came to the rescue by saying that there was nothing in the book about kissing the lips, just a kiss._

_I agreed to save them falling out, and decided to bring in a pantomime version next time, this was lots of fun._

_Sapphire asked if I had a Princess or Prince Charming. It brought up a few unintentional memories, and I couldn't lie to them. I said yes, and was luckily saved by the nurse who put them to bed._

_But Magi-Magi said that she's ask me again tomorrow. I'm dreading that, I won't lie._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami stifled a laugh as the girl's curiosity brought out a new side to Yugi; he hoped that he wouldn't go into another depression.

* * *

**October 30th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I caught a cold! It's not fair, now I'm stuck at home all day. Ryou stayed to look after me, Bakura went to steal again._

_I took the day to write out a letter for you and Grandpa, I was unsure what to put. But eventually just said that I'm fine and that I've got a good job, even though it's unpaid, and that I hope you don't get haunted by ghosts._

_I hope I'm better tomorrow, it's boring being in bed all day. I wish _I _had a playmate now._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**October 31st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've had a strange day._

_When I turned up the beds were empty, I was really worried until I heard giggles from behind the curtains. I pretended to look and worry, and, just as I thought, they jumped out at me. I pretended to be frightened, it was funny. When I collapsed, Crystal and Magi-Magi thought I had turned into a ghost._

_Ashley just jumped on me and told me to stop being stupid. You can't fool her…_

_I explained why I was off and made it up to them by giving them some of the sweets I had bought for them. They liked them all and soon I had four hyper girls on my hands, probably not my best idea ever._

_Magi-Magi has a uncanny memory, she threw the same question at me as two days ago. Did I have a Prince Charming. It was difficult to not just shut down and try and shy away from the painful memories._

_But I ended up telling them all about you. I drew them a picture of you, Ashley said you had crazy hair, even crazier than mine. Crystal told her to be nice and said that she liked your eyes. Magi-Magi and Sapphire were very quiet. I told them about our adventures, and left nothing out as Magi-Magi kept throwing another twenty questions at me._

_At the end I, towards the present day, I had to break it to them that fairy tales don't always come true. I explained that my 'Pharaoh' had found a Queen and that it wasn't me. I left out all the parts about Teá, they're too young to understand that._

_Sapphire and Ashley jumped up and started shouting curses about her. Crystal pouted and said that the Pharaoh was stupid to not be with me. It was adorable. Magi-Magi was frowning and eventually just hugged me and said "I'm sorry"._

_I think I cried a bit because I had all four of them hugging me at one point._

_But they really enjoyed our adventures, Magi-Magi guessed I was the King of Games when I mentioned Duellist Kingdom, she's really smart. Her flue is nearly gone, thank goodness. She'll be heading home soon, such a shame to see her go. I'll miss her._

_At the end of the day Ryou picked me up and said that I looked very tired. I feel wide awake though, memories of us together are in my head and I've the feeling I'm not going to sleep well tonight._

_Whatever happens: I love you, Yugi._

* * *

Yami sighed. Yugi was happier, but still hurting, perhaps healing?

His own chest hurt at the thought. _What?_ Yami gasped_. I don't want him to heal? But that's cruel!_ He argued, knowing what was right… and what he wanted. He wanted Yugi to… Need him.

Yami felt a wash of epiphany break over him. He wanted Yugi to want him. He wanted Yugi to still feel the same. _But why?_ Yami frantically searched his own feelings and ran in circles until his eyes rested on the next page of the diary. A very detailed drawing of Yami holding Yugi tenderly, the both wore peaceful and happy expressions. The paper wasn't worn through at all, meaning Yugi had been relaxed as he hadn't pressed hard with the pencil.

Yami felt his heart jump at the sight of the drawing. It was… beautiful. Not just in looks, in emotions! He felt the love coming from them. _Them?_

Yami felt a lump raise in his throat as he saw the drawing of him emitting the same love the Yugi sketch did. As he stared at the picture he felt a rush of acceptance and longing pull at him. He wanted this, for real. He wanted to act this pose out, and hold Yugi that close.

He _wanted_ that!

* * *

**November 2nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Magi-Magi went home at last, she cried when she had to leave us. We'll miss her like crazy! She's such a wonderful girl. I hope we'll meet again. I gave her Ryou's apartment address and she promised to write to me._

_On another note Sapphire's going in for her operation soon. She'll have her __Cataract removed in a few days, and I'll be there for her, she's very nervous, but I promised her that it'll be alright._

_Serenity had worse and made it through just fine. Sapphire will be just fine._

_I missed you a lot today, love, Yugi._

* * *

**November 8th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Sorry for not writing for a while, but we've had a hectic week! Ashley got into trouble as she fell over and may have shifted her cracked ribs, so she went into the emergency x-ray room._

_Sapphire came out of surgery and her family is with her. We'll see her later in the week._

_It was just Crystal and me playing snap. She's getting better, and she has sharp nails too, which scares me off winning a little. I hope things will turn out alright._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami chuckled. Yugi had faced soul stealing villains, dragons, Joey's stomach cravings and an evil god or two over the years they had known each other… and yet tiny Crystal was scaring him off winning snap. This was priceless!

* * *

**November 14th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ashley's alright, thank the gods! Her ribs shifted a little, but she'll be fine, she's just bedbound for a while. Crystal's been cheering her up. We also got Sapphire back for an afternoon._

_She's got bandages over her eyes like Serenity did, but they'll be off in a few days and she'll have her vision back. Then it's only a few more days recovery and she'll be going home._

_Crystal will be leaving soon too, sad as it sounds to me. She's healed up nicely and will soon be able to go back home. I'll give her my address as well._

_I miss you, love, Yugi._

* * *

**November 19th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Sapphire's bandages came off, her grey eyes are very pretty. She was staring at everything! She was so happy. She read us Peter Rabbit, Crystal fell asleep on my stomach but Ashley listened, Sapphire's a great reader. The story was good too._

_Ashley's had another check up and her ribs are feeling fine. Dia came back and paid us all a visit. It was great to see her again, her limps gotten better though it's still there._

_Missing you, love, Yugi._

* * *

**November 21st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_It's been a sad day today. Crystal went home and so did Sapphire. We threw them a big goodbye party and now it's only Ashley out of the original four I had to look out for. We spent the day playing soldiers and monsters. It was lots of fun until she put red lipstick on my cheeks to make me the monster. Bakura'll be laughing for weeks!_

_I brought in my deck and Ashley's been examining and asking questions about all the cards. Mostly about which are the most destructive. She's a funny girl._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**November 27th.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ashley's been allowed home and now I've got no one left out of my four girls. I've received letters from them all and they seem to be getting excited for Christmas. It's gotten me thinking about Japan. I'm a little homesick now I've been away so long. If Ryou didn't speak to me in Japanese at random times I'd think I've forgotten the language._

_Anyway, Ashley and I have a tearful goodbye, though she determinedly told me "Big girls don't cry!". I'll miss her. Sapphire's sent me a picture of an Egyptian King. I'll stick it in somewhere._

_Magi-Magi's sent me her third letter, and it's about her dog. They went on a long walk and she got really muddy, it's a cute story that I'll have to pin down as well._

_So much has happened, though I still feel homesick. Makes me wonder how Bakura and you stand it. Being out of your time as well as your country, it's got to be hard. You're a lot tougher and stronger emotionally than we ever knew._

_Ryou helped, he served raman. Yum._

_I miss you a lot, love, Yugi._

* * *

Yami smirked a little, he hadn't really been missing his home. They visited Egypt or had an involvement with it every other weekend. Though he knew what Yugi meant, after a while you miss how things were.

* * *

**December 1st.**

_Dear Yami,_

_Ryou and Bakura and I had a day out on the town. We went to a park and later to a place to eat, it's getting colder here. when I mentioned this to Ryou he at once suggested to get me some warmer gear for the winter months. I'm wearing three vests as it is._

_I didn't argue and we had a shopping day of all things. Ryou made sure to stay clear of the leather shop this time. But I detoured to it, I'm homesick and you remind me of home. "Home is where the heart is."_

_I have lots of warmer clothes now. I shouldn't be shivering anymore._

_Love, Yugi._

* * *

**December 2nd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I'm back at the hospital, some of the other kids I played with along with the four main girls have requested me back. We've had a great day, I'm not being pinned to a ward anymore, it's better for me to be around them all during lunch and break and other times._

_I'm looking forwards to this and I've gotten my first Christmas card from Sapphire, Crystal and Ashley. They met up for a play date and made me one. It's beautiful._

_Magi-Magi's fourth letter came and she promised to send me a present. I've written back to each letter and sent another one to you, though with the postman strike it may take a while for either to reach you or her._

_I've had another dream about you, a daydream at midday. It was a bit painful but I didn't cry much, I drew another picture of you. When we were playing in the snow at the park, your first snow._

_I miss you. Love, Yugi_

* * *

**December 3rd.**

_Dear Yami,_

_I've had a daydream of you and Teá happily married and having the perfect ending, I hope that you have this, you deserve it and more._

_The children at the hospital, they keep making me promise little things; that I'll bring cookies, that I'll come back tomorrow, that I'll read them a story tomorrow, that I'll bring my drawings and all sorts of other things that keep me coming back to them. I wish I could share this feeling with you, knowing that you're making a difference to someone is such a good feeling._

_They've been asking me about presents. I'm convincing them to try secret Santa so that they don't have to get everyone a gift, me too, I'm not sure I can afford it._

_But about your gift: I've decided to send you this gift; I'm sending you this dairy for Christmas. I hope you'll take the time to read it, I hope Teá lets you read it. I hope that you're not mad at me, not for leaving you, or for loving you. I'll admit I'm not happy without you, but I'm slowly learning to live with the cracks in my heart and the pain of not being loved. But every time I imagine you happy, even if it's with her, a part of me is happy too though the rest of me cries. I hate to admit it, but I've been crying again, I've just had a read over this diary and the pain comes back to me. Especially June and July, remembering that was painful._

_I'll always love you, Yami, I've realised that I'm not going to get over you. It hurts to love you, but I'd never change this feeling, it's the most beautiful and happiest part of my life so far. I've got another shift tomorrow at the hospital, I'd better go and get those cookies for the kids, gingerbread men. Yum!_

_I love you Yami. Goodnight. Yugi._

* * *

Yami turned to the next page only to see blank. He looked at the date and realised he'd caught up with the present day. Now Yugi was in the hospital. Yami closed the diary slowly and leaned back against the wall. He breathed in through his nose a few times and found a tear slip past his closed eyes.

_Yugi. I'm sorry._ Yami sat up and put the book back into the box of treasured memories, pain and love. All things he felt he didn't deserve, well apart from pain.

How could he have missed it all? Yugi was kind and good, and willing to suffer in silence, or to those held to silence, rather than share his pain with the monster giving him the pain. Yami ran a hand over the diary again and closed his eyes again.

The guilt was crushing him. _I have to make it right._ Yami stood up and bit his lip. But what was right?

Saying sorry. Was that enough?

Leaving so that he wouldn't hurt him anymore. But how would he apologise?

Explain and finally hold Yugi and love him like- wait what?

Yami blinked as the third option rolled into his head.

_Explain and finally hold Yugi and love him like he deserved to be loved._ Yami gasped and nearly collapsed as the feeling hit him. _I love him…_ Yami gasped and laughed, nearly hysterical with the knowledge._ I love him._ _That's why I've been missing him, always thinking of him, hurting inside, it was Never Teá. It was Yugi!_ Yami nearly jumped into dance and song, the reason it fell apart with Teá, why he didn't give into her demands for physical love, was because it wasn't love at all!

While she was in the way, Yugi was hidden. But as soon as she was gone, Yami's entire being was bent on finding him. Though he hadn't looked, secretly, he'd never given up the hope of finding him.

Yami scraped his eyes dry of tears and stood tall. "I've got a hell of a lot to make up for," he realised out loud. But he'd do it. Yugi was more than worth it.

* * *

**Wai! The ending stinks!**

**Tell me what you think, have a killer new year! Keep being awsome. Now let's see what our newly smacked on the head and got his act together Pharaoh will do next!**

**BTW Please don't put "Update soon" or "I can't wait to see what happens next" or anything similar. I'd like some feedback please, not just a comment.**

**Thank you very much for reading! Happy new year!**


	7. So Far Away

**Updating time!**

**Next update, I should be revising for Maths, but what the hell! I need some writing outlet! and I need it NOW.**

**Once again, I apologise for leaving my other stories, but they're nearly done and I'll soon be starting another Disney crossover as well as a colab with Winged Sapphire Wolf! :) I'll be busy, but I like it. Please review!**

* * *

Yami stepped into Ryou's living room and said "Please take me back to the hospital." His posture was strong but defeated at the same time, he felt do rotten and despicable, but his choice to make it all right made him determined.

Ryou fumbled with his cup and saucer for a moment, then nodded, he set down his tea and looked up at Yami's face "Do you understand now? Have you finished the diary?"

Yami nodded "Yeah, I've finished it… I can't believe all that happened, and I just… let it happen," he clenched his fists in frustration. "How could he keep going?"

Ryou stood up and dug out his car key "I asked myself that a lot, everyday just before he nearly…" Ryou bit his lip and shook his head. "He looked so empty, he'd stare into space, whenever he spoke it was like he was repeating what someone else had said. That wasn't Yugi, it was a shell in his form." Ryou hung his head. "I didn't know what to do, I heard Bakura telling him to snap out of it, and decided to send him to the hospital to get his mind away from the world he lived in."

Yami smiled "According to the diary it worked wonders," he noted.

Ryou smiled "It did! He was smiling and laughing again, though he still looked empty and I rarely saw him as he kept dashing off to the hospital for some made up reason, but he looked better. He seemed better," Ryou sighed and fiddled with his keys "He'll be glad to see you, when he wakes up."

Yami took a step back, a little shaken by how sure Ryou sounded. Yami bit his lip and looked at some random object "I'm not so sure about that… wouldn't seeing me hurt him more?"

Ryou shrugged and made for the door. "If I was in his position, I'd want to see Bakura again, no matter how brief. When Yugi first came here, he would cry in his sleep for you." Yami gasped and listened as Ryou spoke, remembering the first days. "It was heart breaking. _Yami, Yami, please don't hate me, I'll come back, Yami please don't abandon me._ That's why I know he does want to see you," Ryou looked at Yami firmly, not leaving any room for an argument.

Yami closed his eyes and nodded, feeling both defeated and ashamed. Even with Yugi's conscious thoughts of pain and the pain he wrote down, clearly that was only a fraction of what he was feeling. Yami followed Ryou to his car and leaned his head against the window. "We all missed him," Yami said.

Ryou made a noise to show he was listening, but he didn't speak.

Yami pulled at his hair slightly "When he left, we demanded that Kaiba and Joey tell us where he was, but of course they didn't. We looked everywhere we could think. We called Ishizu, Mai and Valon looked on their travels, I looked at every tournament I went to. I thought he'd keep playing, I should have known better…" Yami didn't know exactly why he was spilling his thoughts out to Ryou.

But he hoped he'd feel better once he had.

Ryou listened patiently as they approached more traffic.

Yami sighed "When I found Teá with Duke, I realised that her betrayal wasn't as painful as Yugi's disappearance." He laughed suddenly "I was clever enough to realise that I hadn't really loved her as the world thought I did. But I still was blind to my feelings for Yugi."

Ryou squeaked a little and looked at Yami with shining eyes, hopeful eyes. "So… your feelings?" he asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Yami smiled "I love him," he admitted.

Ryou beamed.

Yami laughed at his look, "Am I the last one to figure it out?"

Ryou shrugged and quickly turned back to the traffic "Well, two out of three yami's paired up with their hikari's. I thought that there had to be something there, it's hard to have been that close for so many years, and to just feel everyday friendship towards them… and Malik and I didn't even have the best of starts with our yamis, if you remember. I knew that there was something there," Ryou explained softly.

Yami nodded after a moment. "I know what you mean, Yugi was like my brother for a long time, I never realised my feelings had changed. Everyone I was around daily told me; Teá, Teá, Teá is the best choice," Yami sighed regretfully "I can't believe I listened to them."

Ryou smiled sympathetically, "You were brought here from a different age and country… They told you how to get by and be normal," he pointed out, neither supporting nor opposing his previous statement. Just stating a fact.

Yami was quiet while he mulled over his new thoughts, Ryou had to shake his arm to get him to realise that they had arrived. Yami jumped and Ryou chuckled before locking the car and leading Yami through to Yugi's room.

* * *

Bakura was standing outside again. Ryou must have told him that they were coming back. Ryou hesitated as they approached, but Yami didn't.

He walked right up to Bakura and before the thief could even open his mouth, he said "Do me a favour?"

Bakura blinked and scowled. "Depends." he said shortly.

Yami nearly laughed, but it was too serious a request to laugh. "Punch me."

Bakura raised an eyebrow, Ryou shot him a look, and then the thief raised his fist and hit Yami hard under the jaw, once on his cheek and finally one to Yami's chest.

Yami accepted the blows and merely adjusted his jaw after the pain was registered. The blooming pain felt good, like he was paying in some way for what he had done, he nodded at the thief "Thanks."

Bakura snorted, relaxing as Ryou finished whispering to him, and became a little less threatening. The albino yami raised his eyebrow again "So, you've finally realised what you've done?"

Yami sighed and nodded, feeling like the scum of the earth, "I know now."

Bakura relaxed, clearly seeing that Yami was beating himself up more than he ever physically could for Yugi's suffering, and stepped away from the door. "Go on then," he said, sounding less harsh, but by no means friendly. "Now you know what you've put him through, you can face him."

Yami nodded at the thief, respecting his method. It was clear he wanted Yami to know before he saw Yugi, and now he had he could see Yugi and suffer as much as he had.

Yami took a deep breath before letting it out in a whoosh, he nodded at Bakura as he finally stepped into the hospital room.

What he saw upon entering caused him to wince.

Yugi lay deathly still in a hospital bed, propped up by the risen half of the bed, dressed in a baggy gown with a tag around the ankle that had slipped out from under the blanket. His head was heavily bandaged, a few deep bruises marred his skin, his lip was cut, the top of his chest bruising showing where the gown slipped down, his arm had a drip stuck into it, and his hips were in a funny looking support.

Yami swallowed as his throat turned dry, he carefully approached the bed, Grandpa Moto was asleep in a chair which would cause his back pain when he woke up, but Yami didn't have the heart to wake him. Yami stood by Yugi's bedside and gazed at his face, the dull sound of his heart monitor fading into the background.

Yugi, though beaten and pain bearing, still looked as pretty as he always had. His eyelashes were still long and curled up at the ends, as they rested on his pale cheeks, his hands and arms were still slender and petite. Even with all the bruises staining his skin, and the few cuts masked with plasters, he was still very pretty. Maybe he could even be beautiful… once he was fully recovered.

Yami smiled, pained and yet relieved at the same time; Yugi was here, yet he was hurt. Yami carefully slid his hand into Yugi's and squeezed gently. It was unresponsive, cool and limp. Yami's smile turned more pained as his eyes stung with building tears, he ran a thumb over the back of Yugi's hand and whispered softly "I found you aibou…"

Yami sat in the chair beside Yugi's bed and reached over with his spare hand to cup his face, he was warm to the touch, and that was comforting. Yami's hand dropped slightly to feel Yugi's heart, though he could hear it in the monitor, it wasn't the same as feeling the life flowing inside him.

The steady, slow beat lulled to Yami soothingly. Yami sighed and rested his head on his arms, one still holding Yugi's hand, and nearly two days with only four hours sleep caught up with him…

* * *

Ryou and Bakura came to pick up Grandpa and take him back to their apartment; he needed a better place to sleep than a chair. Solomon went willingly, seeing that Yami was there to watch over Yugi. Bakura and Ryou explained to him on the way to their home exactly what had caused Yugi to run away.

Solomon listened solemnly; acknowledging that most had a hand to play the pain inflicted upon his Grandson, and agreed that Yami had to make up for his neglect, but he wasn't angry with Yami. "What's the point in being angry over something that he can make up for?" he stated when Bakura questioned his unemotional response.

Ryou smiled "Exactly."

* * *

Yami woke groggily, with the feeling that he'd overslept big time. He raised his head and blinked as he saw scratchy white hospital sheets and a hand laid in his. Yami sat bolt upright as memories flooded back to him, he looked at Yugi, hoping and praying that he'd be awake…

But he was still sleeping away, healing.

Yami sighed and squeezed Yugi's hand again. "Good morning," he whispered, he expected the lack of response and simply warmed Yugi's hand in both of his. Yugi hadn't moved an inch since last night, the stillness was unnatural, Yugi should have been moving, hyper and happy.

The empty space Yugi left when he vanished was still there, Yami noted, it was filled, but there was still a gap left. It hurt to see Yugi like this, it made him sad to see him so hurt and helpless. That's the gap that needed to be filled.

This one Yami knew would be filled, Yugi _would _wake up. As soon as he was ready.

Yami looked around the room, it was small, about enough for six people to comfortably be in before it got crowded. It was white and grey with cream curtains and one table top and one tv.

Yami reached over to the table top, having to reach over his own shoulder as he was reluctant to let Yugi go, and turned on the radio. The silence was getting to him, and he couldn't think of anything to say to Yugi that wouldn't sound pathetic.

The music faded in and out of Yami's mind, until a song that was practically describing the situation aired. Yami found himself quietly singing along.

**"This time, This place,  
****Misused, Mistakes,  
****Too long, Too late,  
****Who was I to make you wait?  
****Just one chance,  
****Just one breath,  
****Just in case there's just one left.  
****'Cause you know,  
****you know, you know!  
****I love you,"**

Yami smiled as he admitted his feelings, holding onto Yugi and watching his face, hoping that he was somehow hearing this.

**"I've loved you all along.  
****And I miss you,  
****Been far away for far too long.  
****I keep dreaming you'll be with me,  
****and you'll never go.  
****Stop breathing if,  
****I don't see you anymore…"**

Yami looked at their entwined hands and lowered his voice, he wished Yugi was awake. He felt a tug of irony as he realized that Yugi had also written down a song for him, now Yami was singing his own back.

**"On my knees, I'll ask,  
****Last chance for one last dance.  
****'Cause with you, I'd withstand,  
****All of hell to hold your hand.  
****I'd give it all,  
****I'd give for us,  
****Give anything but I won't give up!  
****'Cause you know,  
****you know, you know!  
****I love you,  
****I've loved you all along.  
****And I miss you,  
****Been far away for far too long.  
****I keep dreaming you'll be with me,  
****and you'll never go.  
****Stop breathing if,  
****I don't see you anymore…"**

Yami sighed and cupped Yugi's face with his free hand, he smoothed over Yugi's cheek and nose and found himself only able to whisper the next lines.

**"So far away,  
****(So far away)  
****Been far away for far too long.  
****So far away,  
****(So far away)  
****Been far away for far too long,"**

Yami's tone of longing played into the lines that described how absent Yugi had been during those six months Yugi had been missing from his life, but his tone lightened as he kept singing.

**"But you know, you know, you know!  
****I wanted,  
****I wanted you to stay.  
****'Cause I needed,  
****I need to hear you say,  
****I love you,  
****I have loved you all along.  
****And I forgive you,  
****For being away for far too long,"**

Yami smiled as one of Yugi's fears came back to him. _Yami don't hat e me for leaving._ This song had already helped Yami say what he wanted to say, but it was only a fraction. Yami turned Yugi's face towards him and squeezed his hand in raised urgency.

**"So keep breathing,  
****'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.  
****Believe it,  
****Hold on to me and never let me go.  
****Keep breathing,  
****'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore.  
****Believe it.  
****Hold on to me and never let me go,  
****Keep breathing,  
****Hold on to me and never let me go.  
****Keep breathing,  
****Hold on to me and never let me go…"**

Yami finished the song with a squeeze of Yugi's hand and a kiss to his temple. Ryou smiled just behind the door and waited another minute before entering to take the next watch and let Yami go home to shower, change and eat.

* * *

**I kinda hurried the ending, I know, but I'm keeping the best till last. Should be finishing in a chapter or two, *nuu!* it's gone so fast!**

**Anyway... Please can my lovely reviews give me some help?**

**1) What should Yugi's reaction to Yami be when he Finally wakes up?**

**2) What will happen to them after that?**

**Thank you, please give me a commet worth reading. Love you all!**


	8. Awaken

**Updating!**

**okay, this took forever! It was so hard to write, what would they be feeling? Thinking? What would be happening? I was so lost at how this would go, then just babbled. I speed typed and then read over it, deleted it, rewrote it, and started over agian, before just going with my gut instinct. I hope that it's good enough.**

**Lots of you reviwers wanted an Angry Yugi, but I don't think he'd be like that, so I hope that this will do for you.**

* * *

.

_December 20th._

_Dear Yugi, you've been sleeping and healing for sixteen days now, hikari. I tried to stay with you all day, but Grandpa insisted that I get out and have some interesting things to tell you. He's sneaky, he knows only you would be able to move me. Ryou's been keeping us entertained at his house and in London, yesterday he took us to the shops to get some clothes, it seems we're having an extended stay because of you._

_Hopefully Seto won't have fired me by now and the shop won't be clogged with bills. Mai's called twice, she's worried. Ishizu wishes she had her necklace, I got her email this morning, she wanted to know if you'd wake up. All this 'if' is getting to me, I know you'll wake up, I can feel that you'll wake up. Call me crazy, or just badly romantic, but that is just how I feel. I can't think of anything more to write Yugi, wake up soon._

_Love Yami._

* * *

Yami set down the pencil and sighed.

He'd been keeping a diary of his own since he found out about Yugi's, and how it told Yami his broken hearted story. Yami wanted to make sure that he never forgot his own stupidness, and so wrote down what happened each day. His inner thoughts and feelings, but it was difficult, he tried to be as honest as possible, but he wanted to say so much more, he wanted to say things that would put everything right. Plus it was hard to write down his thoughts and feelings because they were in such a muddle.

Yugi wake up, I love you, I miss you, forgive me, hurt me then give me a chance… they were all the common themes of the entries. Yami closed the little brown book and sighed, Yugi's lay right beside it. Yami had read over it a few times, he's looked at every drawing. But couldn't understand how Yugi could view someone as blind and _useless_ as himself as a god who could do no wrong.

Ryou had once said to him on a stay _"You hear him talk, even if you were the worst person on the planet, he makes you sound like the gift of the earth."_ Yami had never felt so humble and wrongly idolised. He should have been the scum of the earth.

Bakura looked around the corner of the door, he whistled "Pharaoh, get your ass out this door you, or you're walking," he snapped, he had been the drive to and from the hospital when Ryou wasn't available.

Yami put his book down and hurried to the door, Bakura was leaning against the door in a bored manner "Finally," he muttered "What's the deal with that book anyway?" he asked, not understanding why he was so dedicated.

Yami pulled on his boots "Just trying to show Yugi what he's shown me," he explained simply.

The air was getting colder as Christmas approached, but it didn't feel very festive as of yet, everyone was too busy waiting and watching Yugi. Mokuba had called twice and was disappointed with the same news each time; Yugi's still sleeping.

Everyone back in Japan was worried and practically glued their phones to their hands, waiting for news, they checked emails daily and were practically harassing the Londoner's for news!

But Yugi slept on, oblivious to their concerns. His coma was a fast hold that wasn't letting go. The deep sleep that held the smallest of lights was dark and paralyzing; where-ever Yugi was being held in his sleep he didn't seem too determined to escape.

The thief drove Yami to the hospital, out of protest he insisted, but Ryou was sure he was doing it for Yugi, because, awake or not, Yugi _needed _Yami to heal. Yami looked at his lap and saw several cards and letters, from Yugi's little friends from the hospital, he hadn't opened them, and was going to give them to Yugi to read when he woke up.

Everyone else said 'if'. But Yami knew they were wrong, Yugi_ would_ wake up. The doctors said that after a certain amount of time, a year or two, it was certain he'd never wake, and they hesitantly touched the subject of 'pulling the plug' and sending Yugi on. Because past a certain point, there was no chance he would ever wake.

The snow made traveling a little more difficult, but they managed to get there without incident. Speaking of cars, the man who had hit Yugi turned himself in because of a guilty conscious, he admitted to drink driving and when he woke the next day tried to brush the hit and run off as a deluded dream, only for Yugi to appear on the news. He'd been burdened with remorse and had finally just given up and accepted the jail time.

Yami wanted to punch his lights out, Bakura wanted to tear his lights out, but Ryou managed to convince him that living with regret was harder and crueller than any physical pain. Yami agreed when that was pointed out, after experiencing first-hand how harsh you could be to yourself, and simply said that he hoped the man suffered a lot for it.

* * *

The yamis walked through the hospital, making their way to Yugi's room. The two had a tentative relationship as they both wanted the best for Yugi. So they put up with the other.

But as they approached, Ryou ran out and shouted for a doctor, he looked scared and at least three ran to him to hear his scared babbling. Yami's heart clenched painfully. Three doctors, or nurses, ran through the door and Ryou spotted the two approaching. "Yami, hurry!" he grabbed Yami's hand and pulled him in.

Three nurses were fluttering around Yugi's bed, Grandpa holding his hand, but it didn't help. Yugi thrashed in his sleep, crying and yelping as his injuries hurt him, his brow sweaty and his eyes traveling frantically under his lids. The nurses were trying to keep him still, but he was still trapped in a nightmare.

Yami stepped through and put his arm around Yugi's shoulder. The boy stilled nearly instantly! As if he sensed who it was, who was there, and why he was there. Yami sat down beside him and murmured comforting words to him. Yugi leaned onto Yami's shoulder, unexpectedly, though he still cried and twitched in fear. Yami held him gently, Yugi's small body felt so right in his arms, and slowly the boy calmed.

The nurses seemed bemused at what just happened, but seeing as their patient was no longer in distress, they left.

Ryou was in a deep conversation with the doctor, Yami only half understood because it was in English. After a moment Ryou gasped and beamed, turning to the others he said "Yugi's waking up!" Everyone gasped and smiled widely. Ryou laughed "If Yugi's mind is active enough to have a nightmare that violent, he can't be far from waking up," he explained, glancing at the doctor as he spoke.

Yami felt as if the earth had flipped and given him one second to adjust, again. Then he was filled with joy, and triumph of the 'I told you so' kind. Bakura beamed and began to laugh weakly in relief. Yami and Grandpa soon followed suit. Yami's body sagged slightly and he leaned on Yugi a bit and smiled at him as if he was going to open his eyes and laugh too.

Grandpa held Yugi's hand in his wrinkled ones "Yugi, hurry and wake up, I didn't face London traffic to get your Christmas present for nothing," he chuckled. Bakura snorted but even he couldn't dampen the mood.

Yami was very reluctant to leave that night, the news made it sound like the second he left Yugi would wake up. Luckily Grandpa let him stay, and so did the hospital staff, seeing logic in having someone Yugi knew there when he woke up. Yami slept in the chair, not thinking about his already bad back from doing this at least once every three nights. As he slept someone eventually stirred…

* * *

Yami woke up and stretched, clicking his spine back into place. He looked at Yugi and finally saw some signs of life! The covers were wrinkled and tangled; signs that the youth had moved in his sleep, his head was lolling less, and his hand was unconsciously holding Yami's…

Yami held back and smiled "Good Morning aibou…" he greeted softly in Yugi's ear.

Yugi stirred slightly.

Yami's eyes widened and he spoke again. "Are you awake? Can you hear me?" he asked. Again Yugi stirred; his actions and movements becoming slightly more wakeful each time. Yami's heart leapt at every slight twitch.

The very moment he prayed would come was here, he had imagined so many responses to this moment, but all he could do was stare and try to not hold his breath. Yami quickly darted into the corridor "Doctor!" he called, not knowing much English he simply made gestures until one arrived to see Yugi move wakefully.

The doctor at once rushed to Yugi's side to check him over.

Yami sat back by Yugi's side and held his hand. Yugi's fingers curled around Yami's hand and his eyes slowly fluttered open. Yami gasped and tugged on his hand unconsciously, leaning closer to the blinking youth. "Yugi?"

Yugi rolled his head and saw Yami. Yugi's eyes were dull with sleep, but they were the same colour as they were before. Yugi stared at Yami dumbly for a moment before a sleepy and, almost, drunk-looking smile spread across his face "Yam…" he mumbled and leaned towards him.

Yami caught him when he leaned too far and fell on him, the doctor chuckled as Yami did. "Careful aibou. You've only just woken up," he said gently.

Yugi nodded, the pain numbing drugs made him very duped… the doctor put him back on his bed and asked him a few questions, Yugi answered a few, then fell asleep again. But this time it was different, it was a light sleep, normal, welcoming and healing, not the dark cage within a human mind.

The doctor and Yami worked around the language barrier enough to understand that Yugi was still recovering. But Yami didn't care, he ran to the phone zone and called Ryou.

"He woke up!"

* * *

Yami picked the phone off of the wall and answered it "Hello?"

"Yami, its Ryou."

Yami blinked, he had been at the apartment for about six hours, resting, eating and freshening up for his later visit, what was wrong. "Ryou? What's wrong?"

Ryou laughed "Nothing, you're so paranoid Yami," he chided playfully. "For once it is _good _news, Yugi's awake again, and he's just finished saying hello to Grandpa."

Yami gasped and smiled "He's _awake_ awake?"

Ryou hummed an affirmative "Yep! And he's been asking about you, get your ancient Pharaoh butt over here!" he laughed.

Yami laughed too "I'll be right there."

* * *

Yami rounded the corner, he saw Yugi sitting up and talking with Ryou softly. He was sitting upright, albeit there were many pillows and small supports helping him stay upright, but he looked relatively normal. The bruises and tiny cuts were almost gone, they only had a bit of discolouring around his jaw. His skin was healthy, his eyes sparkled with awareness and his smile made the world right again…

Yami sighed at the sight of Yugi like that, he hoped he'd always see him smiling. He looked as radiant as the new dawn.

Ryou spotted Yami and smiled in welcome. Yugi followed his line of sight and the world stood still when they finally locked eyes with each other.

It wasn't a dramatic, heavenly stillness; it was tense and _finally_ sort of stillness. One that was long overdue, and secretly dreaded by both.

Ryou tasted the tension in the air and made up an excuse to leave, something about a jumper… He whispered to Yami as he left; "I haven't told him anything. All his knows about you is what happened seven months ago," he warned, then he left them alone.

Yami nodded whilst keeping his eyes on Yugi.

Yugi broke the tense stillness first, he smiled and relaxed against his pillows, letting them support him without the attempt to appear normal, Yami felt happy that he could let his guard down around him, even after everything that had happened. Yet the gesture was bracing and self-supporting. "You _are_ here …" he whispered at last, he had nearly convinced himself, even with Ryou's words that he had dreamed Yami up. His heart sang and cried when proven wrong. _Yami …_ Teá's Yami, but he must care to come and see him, right?

Yami smiled very slightly, so slightly you won't be able to tell unless you were Yugi. The boy smiled again, only his eyes sparkled more than normal … tears … "You _were_ there when I woke up," he said softly.

The former Pharaoh nodded and stepped into the room, taking a seat by Yugi's bed. "I was …" he looked over Yugi's body, biting his lip at the thought of all those injuries. "Oh Ra Yugi …" he murmured, a hand fluttering over his body, trying to avoid his injuries, until he decided to rest it on Yugi's hand instead.

Yugi sighed "I'm sorry you have to see me like this."

Yami snorted "Couldn't have kept me away if you tried." Yugi smiled, though Yami noticed the very slight hitch in his breath. Yami hit himself mentally as he realised how much those words both warmed and cracked at Yugi's already wounded heart.

Yugi's eyes were sparkling with too much moisture, only just contained enough to be normal. _I wanted to hear those words for so long… if only …_ his eyes were so tormented, there were so many emotions battling for dominance; love, fear, joy, wonder, sadness, regret, pain and a waterfall of silent questions.

Yami wondered if Yugi's eyes had ever been that much of a window to his pain; _have I really been so neglectful that I've missed seeing the pain in his eyes,_ he wondered.

Yami raised a hand and pressed it to Yugi's cheek in unconscious and silent comfort. Yugi's eyes widened and his entire body stiffened. Yami could nearly hear the thoughts running though his head; _I'm his, he's not mine … what about Teá? … I love you … If only …_

Yugi finally closed his eyes, hiding his inner struggle, and gave into temptation. He leaned into Yami's touch, his warmth and his support, but his bottom lip trembled as the action both warmed and shattered him. Borrowed tenderness. Tears leaked out from under his closed lids and yet he smiled.

Yami felt tears spring to his eyes as well. "I … I read the diary, Yugi," he said, getting it over with, his voice thick with emotion.

Yugi's eyes shot open. Yami smiled sadly "I know what you've been feeling … what I put you through …" he took his hand away and put his head in his hands, fighting the urge to start crying in regret.

Yugi put a hand on his shoulder "You k-know?" he asked.

Yami took Yugi's hand between his and held it tightly, resting his forehead against it. "I know, I can't believe I missed all that … I'm such a bad friend, a bad yami, I must be a bad lover too for Teá to play away."

Yugi gasped "I'm sorry," Yami looked up to see Yugi watching him for his pain, ready to shoulder it as well as his own. "I thought she … she must be very stupid," he began, his lips trembling again "t-to have given you up," he finished with a sob, hating himself, wishing he was there, wishing he was in her place so everything could be right instead of wrong. Yami leaned over and hugged Yugi gently, comfortingly. "I'm so sorry Yami, I-I wasn't there for you-"

"It's alright Yugi. I didn't mourn for her, as soon as Duke explained why he was even involved, my feelings and attachment to her vanished. She's nothing to me now, I'm not hurt. And don't try to say you weren't there for me, when I wasn't there for you, we're even," he ground out the end, lying though his teeth as he knew he still had a lot to make up for.

But it eased Yugi a little. "I'm sorry Yami, I ran away. You taught me to be brave, and not to run from problems, but I did! Please don't hate me!" he begged, his fear appearing in his voice so thickly that it was almost a whimper against a tormentor.

Yami shook his head "I could never hate you. And you were only running because you were forced, I know … when you went missing I looked for you for months. I drove you away when you were right all along about Teá, the only thing you got wrong is what a good person I am; I'm the worst excuse for a human on this earth!"

Yugi sat up and shook his head so much it made him dizzy. "No! You're amazing! You're perfect, don't say that, don't even think it," he hugged Yami warmly. "I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you so much!" Yugi had, every breath without Yami felt like struggling above water, now he was here it was like he had been given a lifejacket.

Yami pressed his head into Yugi's shoulder "Aibou… I've missed you too, it's hurt me as much as it did you to be apart. I never want to be like that again," he admitted. Yugi nodded. He calmed, but Yami rubbed his back and said "Don't lock your pain away Yugi, just let it out, you've carried it alone for too long. Hit me, shout at me, cry as much as you want, just … _please_ don't suffer alone anymore!" Yami begged, his own tears falling.

Yugi gave into Yami's pleas and leaned onto Yami's shoulder, weeping as much as he wished, he let out a few half-hearted shouts about trusting Teá, but they were flawed, and mostly to give Yami what he wanted.

Yami lost track of time as they got all their pain out into the open. They babbled to each other, said sorry, forgave and comforted, reunited and reconnected with each other.

* * *

Yami put Yugi back in his bed after they had talked, somehow Yugi had ended up in Yami's lap. Yugi smiled and said "I thought you'd hate me …"

Yami shook his head "Never. I love you too much for that," his heart squeezed itself in delight, he had finally voiced his newly named, long-time resident feelings.

Yugi's eyes widened, he paled before his eyes shone. Yami waited for his response, thinking he'd be delighted, or maybe disgusted, but-

Yugi merely looked down at his hands and said "Thanks Yami, but you don't have to say those things just because you feel guilty, my dairy must have really exaggerated my feelings for you to just say that." He looked like a kitten that had been kicked.

Yami blinked, leaning back and feeling the harsh sting of rejection slap at him. He winced before reminding himself that he had to work at it, Yugi's trust was shattered; he'd believed something for so long that he must he convinced of the other. Yami took Yugi's hand, "Yugi, I won't lie and say that I don't feel guilty, but do you really think that I'd toy with your feelings just by lying and saying what you want to hear?"

Yugi looked at him cautiously, judging, thoughts flying a mile a minute in his head as he tried to process what he was being told. Yami smiled at him kindly "I know I've hurt you, but can you give me the chance to change that?" he leaned over Yugi and pressed a hand to his fast beating heart. "Will you let me heal your heart aibou?" he asked softly.

Yugi's eyes widened and watered, tears fell down his cheeks. Yami worried that he'd broken him but Yugi whispered "Am I dreaming?"

Yami sighed and kissed his forehead "Dream all you want, but you'll never wake up from this reality. I'm here, and I want to be with you. _You _Yugi Moto," he empathised, gently prodding his nose.

Yugi felt the floor drop out from under him, he felt gravity release him, the air crystalize, colours burst and his heart soar higher than he ever believed possible. He stared at Yami in amazement. "Me?" he asked softly, his doubts merely shadows in his inner explosion.

Yami chuckled and said "If I kiss you will you believe me?"

Yugi's face lit up "Well …" he trailed off suggestively.

Yami smiled and cupped Yugi's cheek "We won't know until we try, right?" Yugi just giggled and tilted his face up as Yami leaned in. Yami paused just before their lips met, to savour the moment. Yugi's scent in his head, the soft touch of his skin under his hand, the steady sound of his even breathing and the fast beating of his pulse on his neck… Yami smiled and closed the last half inch. _You're perfect aibou. Every part of you is perfect._

Yugi had never been kissed like this before. Torn between the most passionate kiss he'd ever received and the most sweet-tender kiss he'd ever gotten. Yugi felt himself swoon slightly, he was glad he was in bed, Yami's kisses would have him collapsing if he was standing up.

Yami pulled back too soon and smiled, staying nose to nose and waiting for Yugi to regain awareness. Eventually the younger's eyes fluttered back open "Best kiss of my life," he murmured softly.

Yami chuckled and said "And this time I was awake," Yugi giggled and blushed, they stayed nose to nose and forehead linked, nuzzling each other slightly as they softly laughed out their aftermath.

Someone cleared their throat and they jumped apart.

Solomon was standing, crossed armed in the doorway, a silently giggling Ryou was leaning around the frame and Bakura stood leaning against the wall just behind him, smirking sadistically, but his eyes gave away just enough for those closest to him to know that he wasn't planning to damage anyone.

Yami paled, _oh gods they didn't-_

Bakura sniggered "Nice move Pharaoh."

_They did._

Yugi blushed and wrapped his hand around Yami's wrist, Yami turned his hand over to twine their fingers together, instinctively.

Solomon sighed and uncrossed his arms "I guess there's no tearing you apart," he joked with a smile.

Yugi blinked and said "Y-you don't mind …"

Solomon raised an eyebrow "If you date? That you're both boys? That you've not given him a slapping for what he put you through? Though I'll be happy if you let me have that part," he added.

Yami cringed "Oh Ra …"

Bakura raised an eyebrow "He's serious you know."

"I know."

"And I'm just a call away from helping-"

Yami glared "I get the idea tomb-robber," he snapped. Bakura just smirked wider and bared his teeth slightly, Ryou smiled and him and poked his ribs to stop him looking so crazy.

Yugi beamed "Thanks Grandpa, but I … I'd like my boyfriend in one piece, please." Yami turned to grin at him and they leaned against each other's foreheads briefly.

"Thank you," Yami mouthed as they separated.

Bakura groaned "Don't get mushy! I'll throw up," he gagged as Yami rolled his eyes and kissed Yugi's cheek.

Ryou leaned up and kissed Bakura's cheek "But you like it too, so stop it before I have to blackmail you into being nice," he lightly threatened. Bakura paled, Yami was suddenly interested in what 'dirty laundry' the thief had hidden away, someday he'd get Ryou to tell him so he could laugh back at the albino.

Solomon smiled and sat beside Yugi's bed "So … what have you two been talking about?"

Ryou hurried in with a basket "I've brought muffins," he sang happily.

Yugi sat up, ignoring his injuries "White chocolate chip?" he asked, pouting with sparkling puppy eyes.

Ryou held one up and winked "You're favourite!"

Yugi nearly squealed "I love you!" he declared as he almost snatched it from him. Everyone laughed at his playfulness, he was almost back to his old self, just a few broken bones and bed ridden-cy would complete it, plus he needed a few more hours reassurance that Yami was really going to be his boyfriend … but other than that, he was fine.

Solomon poked Yami after a moment "If you break his heart twice I'll beat you black and blue, and then I'll let the Kaibas have you," he threatened lowly.

Yami paled at the threat, but knew he rightly deserved it. "Duly noted," he said warily.

Solomon smiled and said "But I'm glad you got together, I was expecting it for some time. You'll make him happy, you're what he wants," he said with a chuckle.

Yami blinked and suddenly was halfway around the world just under three weeks ago, in burger world, talking with friends about relationships … Yami nearly laughed at the irony "You know, I gave someone else the same advice a few weeks ago …" he remembered.

Yugi smiled and leaned over before lightly slapping Yami. Yami blinked in shock while everyone else laughed. Yugi smiled slightly cheekily "That's for not believing me."

Yami lowered his head and sighed.

Bakura sniggered and said "You're going to get a whole lot of those as soon as the shrimp's lost his depression. Maybe a bit of _spanking_ …" he trailed off with wiggling eyebrows.

Yugi nearly got a nosebleed with the blush and Yami looked about to fall in shock. Ryou sighed and shoved a muffin in the thief's mouth. "Keep this up and it'll be you who'll get the spanking, and I mean the _bad _kind," he clarified as Bakura's eyes lit up.

Bakura sagged and grumbled while Solomon chuckled "Ah youth …"

* * *

**There, that's the extent of Yugi's anger. You might all be furious with Yami, but my ideal of Yugi is too sweet and adorable to be angry at someone he loves. (correction! THE someone he loves).**

**I hope you all liked it, now I'm suck for an epliogue:**

**1) What happens next?**

**2) M Preg?**

**3) What happened to Teá?**

**please answer those in a review. Thank you!**


	9. Epilogue

**Update!**

**Okay here's the end of the story, I'm so happy that this is over: I actually had no idea as to how this would end.**

**But I think I've thrown in a final twist and cleared up most loose ends.**

**Please tell me what you think, and I'll let you get right to the reading. Reviews are always loved! I'm hungery for them! FEED ME! I'm a little crazy, Yess! Another story finished! Whoo-hoo!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

_April 19th._

_"Dear Yugi, what a night. What a hot, beautiful, totally blissful-"_

* * *

"Yami!" Yugi whined, embarrassed.

The named laughed and continued "_-night. We have finally become lovers my aibou, and it was such a pleasurable process, we must do this very often. I think the sight of you screaming and withering-_"

Yugi covered his ears and whined again "Yami don't!"

Yami chuckled and simply spooned Yugi closer to him "It's how I felt aibou, this is a diary to voice my inner most thoughts and feelings is it not?" the elder teased, nuzzling the back of Yugi's fresh smelling hair. They were tucked in Yugi's old bed, Yami was holding his diary open for some time last year: after Yugi recovered and after they started their life together.

* * *

They had been together for two years after Yugi had woken from his coma. After Yugi had woken they had taken the time to talk about their relationship and, if they did continue it, how they would move forwards. After a long talk they decided to stay in England. They had a house in the country, but near a train station so that Yugi could go to work in the children's hospital in London and so that Yami could manage the newly opened Kaiba corp centre in the capital. Since then Yami's English had improved massively though he still struggled with a few words and phrases, thank gods Yugi was so patient with him.

Yugi persuaded Kaiba to give Yami a job so that they could all profit and stay connected; Kaiba was mean and nice enough to put Yami in charge of a newly opening office, a far reaching branch of his company; it was mean because it was a lot of work, but nice as it did pay well and Yami was almost a smaller CEO without the fancy titles … almost.

Yugi couldn't give up his desire to work with the children, so took on a job to learn to be a nurse for them so he could help more. Yugi's job was a 'earn while you learn' thing, he started with something basic and worked up as he improved. But the new couple mostly spent lots of time with each other, after a few months they made it official and became lovers.

* * *

Yugi blushed and buried himself under the blanket, "But you're going into lots of detail!" he complained, wriggling down to keep hidden. He was always bashful with those types of talks, blushed like a schoolgirl though he was twenty two.

Yami closed his dairy from last year with a snap and leaned over the bump in the bed to put the book on the nightstand. He ducked under the covers as well and pulled the shy ball that was his light close to him "I just wanted to remember _everything _about our first time, trust me you were a vision," he murmured softly, kissing under Yugi's ear.

Yugi blushed and shivered in delight at the contact, but he was still very embarrassed "B-but what if someone else reads it?" he worried slightly.

Yami chuckled and lowered the blanket so they were in the open air of Yugi's old room "You really think I'd be that careless with such a precious memory?" he questioned softly, before bringing Yugi's hand to his mouth and kissing his knuckles.

Yugi had made a full recovery, save for permanent memory loss of the crash day, but that didn't matter. Yami and the others often said it was good he didn't remember the finer details.

Yugi hummed unsurely before relaxing "Okay I trust you, but really, you must keep it safe. If Joey found it … oh gods or Marik!" he whimpered, hiding under the covers again. They'd never hear the end of it!

* * *

Marik and Malik were living comfortably in Egypt, Cairo, and were happily raising a family with Ishizu and Odion living nearby. When the Yamis came back from the afterlife Marik and Malik were the first to become sexually active, which lead to an interesting discovery.

Bakura and Ryou had to explain to Yami and Yugi what their Egyptian friends had found out when they announced they were going to live together:

Hikari's could have children. Ishizu took Malik to the hospital when he was continually ill for many mornings, and it turned out he was pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. Ishizu had a hunch and called Ryou, since they were also together, and asked a few questions before recommending that a doctor see him too. Ryou was the same; able to conceive. It was a good thing that she did call too because Ryou and Bakura were only just sexually active as well, she caught them just in time so to speak.

There were drugs that stopped a male conceiving or a permanent operation, but Ryou and Bakura wanted children of their own one day so Ryou had to take tablets once a week or daily if they were, well … extremely active.

Solomon had Yugi see the doctor, and it was three for three.

Ishizu researched and talked to experts, but in the end had no clear explanation apart from: "It's a hikari thing." It seemed the most likely answer as it appeared in all three hikari's, and male conceivability was extremely rare in normal citizens; it was giving coincidence too much credit if it was simply luck it turned up in all three of the hikaris.

Now Malik and Marik were raising a rather rowdy nearly three year old boy called Leo. He looked mostly like Marik, his hair resembling a lions-main quite often, but he was thankfully as calm and level headed as Malik and his side of the family, except when he was hyper or if he had been spending too much time listening to Marik's stories about the shadow realm. Somehow he ended up having a sever dark-side like his Father … and speaking of the said Father.

* * *

Yami also cringed at the idea of Marik finding his diary and squeezed Yugi comfortingly, Yugi liked the feeling of the strong arms around him and holding him tightly, it made him feel safe. Like when they were sharing one body, Yami's presence was all around him like an aura; hugging reminded him of that nice feeling.

The darkness nodded "I promise I'll keep it safe, I don't want Marik reading my thoughts either …" he shuddered with a grimace that twisted his whole face.

Yugi hummed and relaxed into Yami's arms and chest again. "What should we do tomorrow?" he asked softly, changing the subject.

Yami and Yugi were visiting Japan and were tucked up in Yugi's old room. Yami scratched his chin absently "We saw Joey, the Kaiba's and Serenity and Tristan today …" he murmured "How about we see if Duke's around, then Rebecca and then just lounge around here all day?"

Yugi giggled "Sounds good, but we have to go shopping too, Grandpa's cupboards are getting empty, and I'm sure he's lonely without us … let's have a meal in for once," he suggested with a sweet smile that got him his every whim from Yami.

Yami rolled his eyes and pecked the smiling mouth again "You've already convinced me Yugi, you don't have to give me that ridiculously adorable smile," he muttered. Yugi just laughed again.

Yami tapped Yugi's hip absently before reaching over to the table and picking up another diary. Yugi mumbled sleepily "No more of our first time Yami, I already know your opinions of every second," he pointed out.

Yami smirked "But I don't know yours," he sang tauntingly in his ear.

Yugi squeaked and sat up, seeing Yami leafing through his diary from last year "Yami!" he gasped in horror before trying to get it off of him without damaging it. "You didn't ask! Don't look, _please?_" he begged, cursing his shorter arms as Yami kept it out of his reach.

Yami smirked and looked at the pages.

_"April 19th._

_Dear Yami …"_ Yugi hid his head and groaned as Yami began reading aloud, just to embarrass him. Yami chuckled and continued

"_Last night we made love, you were so romantic and sweet, Best night Ever! It feels so odd to not be a virgin anymore, but it won't be something I'll miss. I don't think I've ever received so many kisses and cuddles from you. But one thing I didn't like was how much you teased-_ Yugi you know that's the point of foreplay," he said to the embarrassed puddle of hikari next to him.

Yugi huffed.

Yami turned back to the book "-_teased me. Even when I begged you to just get on with it and fuck me-_ Yugi Moto!" Yami exclaimed in semi-shock. Yugi pulled his pillow over his head and groaned. Yami scanned over the entry, it went into as much detail as he did, if not more, then snapped it shut. "I never know you were so vulgar!" he said dramatically.

Yugi whined and snatched the book back "I'm going to rip that one out."

Yami shook his head and carefully placed the diary besides his own "Don't Yugi, it's a precious memory," he pointed out "and I'm sorry for teasing you," he added while turning the sulking boy back to face him.

Yugi was so much better than years before, emotionally. Yami made sure to shower him in affection at every opportunity when they first started dating, it was good to build up Yugi's self-esteem and to convince the boy that he did love him. Yami was a little sad that he needed so much convincing, but knew he deserved it, but the results were better than he could have hoped for!

Yugi was so happy, nearly all the time, he smiled, hummed, sang and danced around the house back at home. Yami knew from his time sharing Yugi's body that those were his habits for when he was so happy he couldn't contain it all. Just like nail biting and constant fidgeting were hints at anxiety and (or) stress that the boy couldn't keep hidden either.

But another plus side was that Yugi could be jokingly-cheeky without the scare of hurting Yami's feelings or anyone else, and he could argue, sulk, play and relax without the pain of his old heartache.

Yami had made sure to kiss each and every scar he's left on the boy's heart ten times over, just as he promised, and was determined to all but vanish them from time itself.

Yugi turned his head away and pouted "I didn't want you to read that …" he blushed badly.

Yami sighed and kissed his forehead "Don't be embarrassed, you just surprised me is all," he explained. He watched Yugi spuriously before leaning in so there was no escape and … "Didn't you want me to know how much you liked it?"

Yugi stiffened and Yami knew he'd hit the nail on the head. He smiled as Yugi spluttered and tried to deny it. Yami rolled his eyes and ran a hand through the back of Yugi's soft hair "You're a bad liar aibou … I'm glad you like it, it makes me happy that I can make you feel that good," he explained softly.

Yugi slowly relaxed and sighed, turning back and letting Yami pull him on top of his lover's body. Yugi rested his head over Yami's heart and nodded "I like it … _love _it … but it's so embarrassing!" he whined before looking up into amused crimson eyes. He smiled sweetly "You're so mean. You tricked me into saying that," he guessed, with an innocent smile.

Yami shrugged lightly and kissed him softly, making their lips press gently but fully. Slow and melting, that was the purpose. Not gasping and arousing …

Yami parted expertly, smirking when Yugi caught his bottom lip between his teeth to draw it out a bit longer. Yugi let the tender flesh go and giggled as Yami nuzzled his nose. Yami smiled and pulled their blanket up around them warmly "Let's sleep now," he advised, but ran a hand up Yugi's back provocatively anyway "Unless you want to stay up a little longer?" he trailed off suggestively.

Yugi rolled his eyes "Even I can tell that you're not up for it, Yami," he murmured with a kiss to Yami's heart. "You'd have your hands all over me if you were serious. Let's get some rest," he agreed, falling off Yami's body to cuddle into his side.

Yami sighed in relief and nodded "Let's. I love you aibou," he whispered romantically in Yugi's ear.

Yugi smiled and relaxed, his face lighting up though he was sleepy at the words. Yami would always say them if they got that response. Yugi opened one eye and smiled "I love you too, goodnight," he sighed and began to drop off in Yami's arms.

Yami followed soon after and they held each other while the world turned back to day.

* * *

Yami made a face as he struggled to open the door, he'd brought home Grandpa's shopping alone. They had all gone out to shop as a family, but Yugi and Solomon had bumped into Rebecca and her Grandfather at the mall, and were not making a move to leave even an hour later. Yami excused himself and got home to put everything away, the frozen stuff may be salvaged at this rate …

"Excuse me?"

Yami jumped as a female voice sounded just behind him. He turned to see an unfamiliar woman in a nurse's uniform, looking a little unsure and nervous, just behind him.

Yami put his bags down just inside the door and turned to speak with her "Can I help you?" he asked her politely. Maybe she wanted Solomon or the game shop.

The woman frowned uncertainly. "Are you Mr Sennen?"

Yami stiffened. Whenever someone knew your name before you knew theirs it was, in his experience, never a good thing. He warily placed himself in front of the door and nodded "That's me," he answered.

The lady smiled and sighed in relief "Oh good. Um …" she rummaged in her purse for a second then brought out an envelope. "This is for you, from one of my patients Mrs Yuki, she died recently … but I promised to give this to you." The letter was slightly rumpled; maybe it had been here since it was written.

Yami took the envelope and looked at his clearly printed name on the front. He raised an eyebrow "I'm sorry, but I don't know any Mrs Yuki," he said.

The nurse looked confused "You are Yami Atem Sennen?"

Yami nodded.

The nurse nodded too and pointed at the letter "Then that is for you. Here's my number if you have any questions," she added putting her professional card and number on top of the letter. "Please read it, it's important to her."

Yami took it with an unsure nod "Okay … thanks," he added before heading inside. The nurse left as quickly as she had come. Yami stared at the letter in confusion before putting the shopping away and finally sitting down to it.

He opened the letter and began to read, wondering who this mysterious woman was and why she had contacted him.

* * *

_Dear Yami,_

_You won't recognise my handwriting because I'm not the one writing this, it's my lovely nurse who's helping me with this and this is for the best so that you don't recognise me too soon and tear this up. I'm too sick to write, or even to move. I'm very scared, but there's one thing that scares me more than dying and that's what will happen to my son._

_I'd better explain properly. After we split up I brought together all my money and went to America like I had planned to all along. My dancing career was short lived, but I did get work and some good times in New York as a casino dancer and secret security, making sure no one cheats the system and all that._

_It was on my way home when I was attacked. I was hurt badly by a sick pervert who had a thing for dancers, the doctors all told me I was lucky though I hardly felt it. But I survived thanks to the wonder of my life. He was called James, he was a local hero and police rookie, he worked extra shifts to keep women like me safe. And thank gods he did._

_Funny, but after everything I did to you and the others you'd expect me to be heartless, but I DID fall in love with this man. James was blunt, funny, slightly clueless about some general things, but that didn't matter._

_This is where things will skim a bit. I kept meeting up with him on my way home, he said he wanted to make sure I was safe, bless him, we eventually dated, he proposed and we got married. And on our anniversary we discovered that he had cancer in his right lung. It was horrible. He was fine one day, and coughing up blood the next. I poured all my efforts and money into getting him the best care I could, like anyone would if they were losing their husband as I was._

_But it wasn't to be. Just as he was improving I realised I was pregnant. It was such a shock, I never thought it was possible to be happy in that situation, then it turned bad again as I realised that if we continued spending money on James' high quality treatment that I'd never be able to raise a child._

_James and I had a long talk about it and he decided to stop his treatment so that our baby could have a better quality of life. It was heart-breaking watching him wither away before my eyes, and a week before he died we had a son._

_And a year later, a few months ago for you now, I was also diagnosed with cancer, a tumour in my brain. But Yami, my son is only one, he can't fend for himself and both James and I were only children with parents who have rejected us for our troubled pasts. I'm begging you to help my son. Jaden._

_Yami, I am Teá. Formerly Teá Gardener, but now Teá Yuki, and I'm terminally sick. I've moved back to Japan in recent weeks. But if you don't accept my offer Jaden will go into an orphanage or care home, I don't want that for him. He deserves the best where I didn't._

_I have no right to talk to you and I know that, but I'm at a loss and there's only you and the old gang I'd ever trust with this favour, should you accept it. I want you to help me, I want you to help Jaden, please raise him, and teach him to become what I wasn't._

_I wish you every happiness. Goodbye, and Sorry, from Teá._

* * *

Yami slowly put down the letter and stared out of the window of his home. Inside the envelope was an address of Jaden's temporary care home and a photograph of Teá with her husband James Yuki and their new born son Jaden. Yami pulled shirt collar loose and covered his eyes as he leaned, thinking about what to do.

It was such a shock. He had never expected her to enter his life again.

Teá had reached out to him to raise her child with no willing relatives. What a horrible position for a child to be in, to not be wanted just because of who your parents were. The young boy looked very much like his Father only for a hair tone from Teá. He was looking at the camera though he was only a new born.

The front door opened and brought Yami from his thoughts, a happy voice called "I'm home!" Just the person he needed to talk to. Yami smiled and turned to open his arms to his hikari lover. He smiled as Yugi peered around the corner of the shop, he had a flushed face and cheerful grin as he spied Yami in the living room.

The hikari nearly ran over to Yami, dropping the few shopping bags he held as he did so, and slipped into his lap. Yami grinned at how adorable his aibou could be "Hello my light," Yami greeted, nuzzling Yugi's nose affectionately.

Yugi wrapped his arms around Yami's shoulders and kissed him before greeting him back "Hello my darkness. Did you miss me?" he asked coyly, the playful, happy, yet sly glint in his eye showing he was in the mood for some 'alone time' since Solomon was still out.

Yami would normally jump at the chance, but Teá's letter had completely knocked the need for any sex out of him. "Very much aibou," he answered Yugi's question and then simply cuddled his eager lover.

Yugi pulled back in confusion "Yami? Is something wrong?" he asked softly, he had noticed that fact he wasn't being kissed senseless and knew only extremely important reasons would stand in the way of Yami's sex drive.

Yami made a face and picked up the letter "I got this when I came home," he admitted, frowning at the fact it was messing up a wonderful day and evening … he leaned heavily into his palm as he felt the irony of his past mistakes still haunt him, and his lover!

The only one who had suffered more than he had, and the one who deserved it least.

Yugi read the letter and gasped when he saw who signed it "Oh …" he murmured, not really sure what to say. Teá was a bit of a taboo subject with Yugi, if he brought her up then it was fine, but if anyone else forced her into a conversation Yugi would quickly leave it to avoid bad memories.

Yami at once cuddled Yugi and planted a few kisses on his cheek to silently comfort him. Yugi smiled slightly at the gesture and reached for the family photo. He held it gently and murmured "She did go to America then …" Yami nodded and ran a hand through Yugi's hair.

"Yes she did … she also found her someone."

Yugi smiled "I'm glad she did," he leaned into Yami "Everyone should have the chance to feel like this," he reasoned in a quiet voice.

Yami smiled and nodded again.

Yugi sniffed suddenly and leaned into Yami.

Yami hugged him at once. Yugi wiped his eyes and then whispered "I can't believe she's gone," he choked. Yami rubbed his hikari's back gently, knowing Yugi was remembering his childhood friend, the one who'd always play games with him when classmates teased or left him out. Not the woman who nearly drove him to suicide.

Yami held him until Yugi had calmed down. Yami couldn't cry. He hadn't seen as much good as Yugi had, so he couldn't bring himself to shed a tear.

Finally Yugi was quiet; he touched the photo again and said "What are you going to do?"

Yami sighed and shook his head "I don't know Yugi … I wanted to talk to you about it, this affects you as much as me. Maybe even more. You knew her best side,"

Yugi nodded in understanding before looking Yami right in the eye "C-can we see him? Jaden," he murmured the child's name. The boy would only be about one or under according to Teá's story.

Yami looked at Yugi; Yugi was looking at the photo sadly. Yugi wanted to help Jaden, he loved kids and was such a bleeding heart that he'd definitely help if asked.

Yami sighed and said "If you want …"

Yugi glanced at his lover and said "Are we going to help him?" his large eyes weren't begging, he'd never force Yami to care for Jaden if the man didn't want to, it was as much his decision as Yugi's since they were a couple.

Yami sighed through his nose "I don't know yet … I'm not sure we should, considering what his Mother did, and what's she's asking of us."

Yugi gasped "Yami, he can't help who his parents are, he's innocent," he pointed out.

Yami nodded and rubbed Yugi's tense shoulders "I know, aibou. It's just unexpected … I had hoped to leave her in the past, now we might have to live with it every day …" Yugi nodded as he understood Yami's reluctance. Yami looked at the photo again and said "We'll meet him, then decide," he finalised.

Yugi smiled and relaxed into his arms, content that it wasn't a 'no' just yet. "Good idea …" he yawned suddenly.

Yami chuckled and nuzzled his neck, making Yugi shiver "Did you tire yourself out today hikari?" he questioned tenderly, his hands on his hips and rubbing slow, massaging circles into Yugi's lower back.

Yugi hummed happily at the sensation "A bit … Rebecca wanted a duel, she's gotten better," he acknowledged. Yami smiled and carefully picked Yugi up to carry him to the sofa. Yugi locked his fingers together behind Yami's head with a smile, unwilling to let him go.

Yami ducked under his arms and kissed his forehead "I'll cook tonight," he said, his voice requiring no arguments. Yugi pouted but nodded and let Yami vanish into the kitchen. He relaxed into the sofa and began to think about what would happen the next day …

* * *

The orphanage looked like a small school mixed with a nursery. There were some serious buildings and some cheerful and bright ones, some walls had paintings of flowers and aliens on them. There were bars over some windows, bedrooms, for security. And the entrance was a double glass door …

Yugi smiled at Yami "Looks like a nice place," he said to try and start a conversation; the car journey had been rather silent.

Yami nodded and tapped the glass. The office lady at the font of the orphanage jumped at the noise. The woman ran forwards and opened the door "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, I thought I opened this door," he let in the amused couple and smiled as they accepted her scatter-brained forgetfulness. She shut it securely behind them "I have to keep it closed, just encase one of the kids tries to run out and … um … what can I help you with?" she trailed her babbling off and turned semi-professional.

Yami liked the look of her, and her personality, like a Mother and Sister in one. Yugi smiled at him and he knew he was thinking the same. Yami cleared his throat "We're here to see Jaden Yuki, I think you're expecting us …" he trailed his question off.

The woman jumped and nodded, before half running to her desk "Yes yes! You called last night to ask if you could come and see him. He's so excited to have visitors, by the Kings of Games no less." She laughed and wrote something on a notepad, then picked up a phone "Jane? Yes Jane is Jaden ready? They're-" she paused for a moment and laughed "No you can't ask for their phone numbers, you're _at work_," she rolled her eyes as she put the phone down.

Yugi smiled "Is he ready?"

The woman nodded "Yes, just through the red doors at the end of the hall, Jane will be there to pick him out for you," she instructed before getting another call and answering that.

Yami put an arm around Yugi and walked him down the hall "I think she's a little hyper," he joked.

Yugi giggled "Me too. She's nice though," he added as he pushed open the doors to the red room. Inside was a children's nursery with a corner filled with pillows and mattresses, a sandbox in another, tables with crayons all around them in the middle, and a random collection of toys in the other parts.

There were about five adults all standing around, playing and keeping an eye on the children, but one looked up right away and waved them over, a young boy with skin like coco in her arms. "Hey! Are you Jaden's visitors?" she asked with a large smile, walking over to properly greet them, the boy dotting red felt tip onto her cheek.

Yami smiled "Yes we are, having trouble?" he asked as she tried to take the pen away from the boy.

The girl shook her head "No, we're playing doctors, I've got the measles," she said as she wriggled the pen out of the boy's grip. "I'll have my medicine and bed ready soon, won't I Heji-kun?" she asked with a small laugh.

The boy grinned and nodded.

Yugi laughed "He looks like a good doctor, are you Jane?"

The girl nodded "Yes I am Jane, please come with me, Jaden is so excited to meet you. I have to go now Heji, but I'll be back in a few minutes, then you can make me all better, yes?" the boy nodded reluctantly. Jane kissed his forehead "Good boy, run along," she told him as she put the boy on the floor. He ran back to his doctors set.

Jane smiled, red dots and all and held out her hand "Nice to meet you, Mr Sennen and …" she looked at Yugi.

Yugi laughed "I'm Yugi Moto."

Jane shook his hand and faced palmed slightly "I should have remembered that! Sorry, but you haven't been in the big tournaments recently. Names aren't my best strength … Jaden's this way," she said, going towards a little side room. "He was so excited he got up at the crack of dawn and got tired before any of the others," she explained in a whisper as they entered the bedroom. "Bed at the end," she motioned.

Yugi thanked her and then quietly walked over to the boy at the end, he was sleeping away in a red one-suit winged-kuriboh dotted sleep outfit. Yugi's face was pained, the sleeping child was adorable, he wondered if the boy was even old enough to remember his parents. Yugi knelt down by Jaden's side and put a hand over the boy's smaller curled up one. How awful to be alone and so young you can't do a thing to help your own fate.

Yami watched silently, he could tell that Yugi was already committed to protecting this little boy. And once Yami saw the child stir awake and look up at him in joy once Jane told him they were his guests … Yami was captured too.

He was so good natured, so forgetful and free, like he was forever happy. He held nothing of his Mother's spite, he was her good side and one of the few things she had done right in the world.

Jaden smiled up at Yami and Yugi and raised his chubby, tiny arms for a hug. "Yamm! Yuwe!" he greeted loudly.

Yami heard Yugi make a small noise that would have been a squeal if not suppressed, Yugi reached down and picked up the happy little boy gently, Jaden gripped Yugi's wrists as he was lifted and cooed at him as he was hugged. Yugi gently pressed the boys head into the hug and looked at Yami. "Oh Yami …"

Yami smiled and raised a hand for Jaden to grip. "I know …" _we have to keep him._

Jaden pulled Yami's sleeve and pointed at his bedside table "Yamm! Her'," he squirmed until he was put down, then pulled out a book and put it on the bed. Inside were several cards and a small poster of the two Kings of Games holding their trophy, they had drawn for this tournament.

Yami laughed and picked it up "You like Duel Monsters?" he asked as he picked up Wingman.

Jaden nodded and jumped on his feet excitedly before turning a page and revealing a picture of the old gang. "Mama, you friendz," he pointed at Yugi then Yami. "Mama tolds me storiez," he picked up a scribbled picture of a King sitting on a pyramid. There was also a large ugly demon fighting a god.

Yami couldn't help but laugh at the picture, Yugi looked and smiled, pulled Jaden into a loose cuddle. "That's Egypt," he murmured to Yami softly.

Yami nodded, Jade pointed "Bad guy! Roar!" he made a face.

Yami rolled his eyes, "Okay demon, I'm the Pharaoh," he pointed at the King in the drawing then picked the boy up and lifted him over his head "And Pharaoh's don't let Demons run around roaring," he chuckled.

Jaden giggled and wriggled in his grip "Demon fight! Roar! Roar!" he growled, making Yugi smile at his sweet nativity. They spent the rest of the afternoon playing and learning about each other. At the end of the day Yugi was rocking him to try and get him to fall asleep, the hikari was already thinking of Jaden as: Son.

Yami put a hand on the boy's knee; it was time to ask him if he wanted to be adopted. "Jaden?" the boy looked up and smiled sleepily, they had played and bathed and ran around until evening, he really liked these two people: they were fun, nice, knew his Mama and played his favourite game. Yami smiled at him and said "We want to know something, do you want to be adopted and come home with us?"

Jaden's eyes lit up, he leaned forwards and nodded "Yes please!" Yugi smiled and hugged him. _I'm never letting you go after this._ Yami knew that hug, and knew it was rightly given.

Jaden leaned into Yugi and held his thumb "Will you be my Papa?"

Yugi nodded and kissed his temple "Yes if you wanted me to be," he told him soothingly, like he did to all his child patients. Jaden was soothed at once and leaned into his chest.

"I do, I do …" he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his wrist.

Yugi smiled "Aw, are you tired?"

Jaden nodded slightly. Yugi smiled and put him in bed "If you go to sleep, then we'll be able to adopt you one day sooner," he reasoned as he tucked him in.

Jaden nodded and closed his eyes "I sleep!" he whispered and closed his eyes.

Yugi smiled and trailed his hands over his cheek before getting up and collecting his coat, Yami ruffled the boy's hair before also leaving the room.

* * *

**Years later...**

* * *

Jaden gripped Yami's shirt worriedly as Ryou and Bakura arrived. Yami smiled tensely at the hikari and yami "Hey," he greeted, rubbing Jaden's back to sooth the both of them, though the results were questionable.

Bakura nodded with a weak smirk. "So … guess it's time eh?" he muttered, not willing to admit he was concerned for Yugi.

Ryou smiled and sat next to Jaden and Yami, they were at the hospital and waiting on news. Ryou put a hand on Yami's arm "He'll be fine Yami. I was," he comforted softly, though he was worried too.

Jaden reached out to Ryou and took the little hand on the adult's shoulder "Hello Sy," he mumbled.

Syrus smiled and held his hand back. He was a boy that Ryou and Bakura had adopted when he lost his parents to flu. He was very young and Yugi had introduced them when Ryou stopped by his work one day, Ryou and Syrus at once had a connection and Bakura had agreed to adopt him. They let him keep his original surname as his middle name, and had just raised and loved him as Yugi and Yami had Jaden.

The two were best friends at five years old.

But the albinos also had two biological daughters, Amane and Kisara. Amane after Ryou's dead sister, because she resembled her so closely, and Kisara because Bakura admitted he always wanted a daughter called that. She was bossy, dominant and rather like Bakura, but she could be sweet and adorable too.

Her sister was sweet and shy and clinging to Bakura's arm, they seemed to be Daddy's girls, yet they were unspoilt and well behaved at the same time … mostly. Kisara had her bad days, and unfortunately both had a natural talent for picking locks, they demonstrated this on their _third_ birthday!

Jaden smiled at the girls and they smiled back. "Is Uncle Yugi okay, Uncle Yami?" Amane asked shyly.

Jaden looked at Yami and gripped his shirt again, Papa was in hospital, people who were very sick went here, and Papa had been crying and moaning …

Yami patted her pure white hair and nodded "Yes, he'll be fine, he's just having the baby," he told her.

Amane beamed at the mention of the baby. "I hope it's a girl," she mumbled.

Kisara tilted her head "I want a boy," she contradicted, just because she could. She was a little awkward sometimes. The two were three years old.

Yami smiled "Maybe, he's having twins remember?"

Just as he spoke the midwife came out with a large smile "Mr Sennen?" she asked.

Yami stood up with Jaden in his arms, Jaden spoke first "Is Papa okay? Do I have a brother or sister?"

Yami playfully covered his mouth as the midwife, Ryou, Bakura and Syrus all laughed at his eager conflict: Is Pap okay? Or do we have new family members? Kisara smiled slyly, rocking on her heals and hands clasped behind her back. Amane just looked worried still. Jaden was confused as to why they were all laughing, but got the message and shut up.

The midwife opened the door for Yami and Jaden "A little unexpected surprise sirs: triplets."

Yami's jaw dropped.

Bakura spluttered "Say what? The scan said twins," he remembered. Ryou was smiling knowingly: he had always said that Yugi was bigger than when he was pregnant with twins and insisted that it was more than two. He liked being right, Kisara was giggling at her Papa's smirk, he never smirked.

The midwife shrugged "Well you have two sons and a daughter, congratulations."

Yami mumbled thanks before leaving the hall to see his lover. Yugi was resting tiredly with a child in each arm, the third was being held by an assistant midwife, they were squirming and whimpering.

Yugi looked up as Yami entered and smiled "Ryou was right Yami," he said with a small laugh. He was so happy; finally a complete family of his own …

Jaden was put down in the doorway, he was grinning madly. The boy jumped up onto Yugi's bed and crawled over to his new siblings. "Papa … they look squishy," he giggled, pointing at the left child.

Yugi laughed and reached out, with difficulty to kiss his forehead "Hello Jaden, meet your new brother and sister," he nodded at each one in his arms.

Yami took the other child and smiled "This is our other son?" he asked softly.

The midwife nodded "Yes, all healthy, even the surprise little girl," she nodded at the girl in Yugi's arms. Yugi smiled at her and kissed her damp hair gently. She looked a lot like Yugi, large closed eyes, tri coloured hair, and only few blond bangs. The other boy was much the same, he had large eyes and Yugi's hair. The eldest boy Yami held was his own spitting image, tan with sharper eyes and he was the biggest of the babies.

Jaden smiled and patted his sister's head gently "Hey sis, what's their names?" he asked.

Yami sat next to Yugi and kissed his lips gently "Are you alright aibou?" he was worried, three children was difficult, and it was unexpected. He didn't want to give up Yugi's health and happiness for anything; he'd rather get stabbed before that happened.

Yugi kissed back and nodded "I'm fine, my Pharaoh. Aren't they beautiful?" he asked, they were squirming again, as if they knew that they were being ignored for some reason. Jaden was holding one of their hands, looking fascinated and amazed that he now had siblings.

Yugi smiled, adoration shining in his eyes as his family surrounded him. Yami relaxed at the loving look in his eyes, it was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. Life was perfect now, his children were here: Born. Independent from Yugi's life and body, and they were perfect …

Yugi nodded at the youngest boy "Jaden, this is Heba," he introduced softly.

Jaden smiled and shook the baby's hand, "Hello Heba!" he greeted hyperly.

Yugi nodded at Yami's baby. Yami put a hand over Yugi's mouth and said "I'm naming this one," he narrowed his eyes in a playful glare, his smile gave it all away. Yugi narrowed his eyes back and nipped the hand shutting him up. Yami shook his head slowly "Now what example is that for the kids?" he teased.

Jaden growled and playfully grabbed Yami's hand and nipped it too "A good one!" he cheered.

Yami groaned "I've been ganged up on," he realised softly.

Yugi and Jaden giggled, Jaden climbed into Yugi's lap, but carefully as Yugi groaned about a sore tummy as soon as he moved. Yami ruffled his hair and said to Yugi "This one's Abiri, it was what I was going to call my son as Pharaoh …" he admitted softly.

Yugi's eyes softened and he nodded "Perfect," he agreed.

Jaden nodded too "I like that name!" he bounced over to his sister and carefully held out his arms "Can I hold her?" he asked with large eyes. He even added a pouty lip when the adults exchanged a glance. "Pleeease?" he begged "I'll be extra, extra careful!"

Yugi chuckled and nodded "Okay, if you're extra extra careful," he laughed as he handed over the smallest baby.

Jaden held his sister very carefully, his eyes so wide they were about to pop out of his head "Wow … she's cute," he sighed, Yugi wrapped his free arm around him to keep both of them close, Heba sneezed and made everyone laugh.

Jaden pulled on Yami's sleeve "Is this Hikari?" he asked curiously.

Yami looked confused "What do you mean?"

Jaden looked at Yugi then back at Yami, "When you come home sometimes you say _where's my hikari._ Is this her? Have you found her?" he asked, his childish questions finding the perfect name for the beautiful baby.

Yugi smiled "Yes, that's Hikari," he agreed after a minute. Yami leaned into Yugi and nodded as well.

Ryou and his family peered in and smiled, but didn't enter, they knew that it was a family moment. Ryou picked up Syrus and Amane "Come on, we can meet them all later, let's go home."

Bakura picked up Kisara and nodded, Kisara peeped into the room over her Father's shoulder and saw the midwives put the children in cots and give Jaden a small bed so that they could stay the night. She saw Yami kiss Yugi goodnight, and Yugi almost instantly flopped against him in exhaustion. She smiled and waved as she was taken around a corner and out of sight.

Yami pulled Yugi's blanket up "I love you aibou, you did wonderfully," he assured his sleepy lover. Yugi smiled and nodded with his eyes shut. Yami leaned down and kissed his lips again.

Yugi kissed back and sighed "Yami?"

"Mmm?"

Yugi opened an eye "The midwife told me I can't have any more kids …" he mumbled. Yami smiled and nodded, before laughing suddenly. Yugi raised an eyebrow "What?" he sighed.

Yami looked at their sleeping new-born's "You think we _need_ anymore?" he asked though a hushed laugh.

Yugi smiled and hummed a small laugh of his own "No … it's just … I need an operation, I won't be strong enough for another child. It's when I've recovered, so I can't have kids permanently after that."

Yami nodded seriously "I see. But I'd rather keep you and our family together, we don't need anymore. And I'm not prepared to take the risk of losing you," he whispered as Jaden climbed into his little bed.

Yugi smiled and relaxed into his bed "You're sweet … I love you, goodnight."

Jaden's head popped up from his bed "Goodnight Papa!" he whispered loudly.

Yugi smiled "Goodnight kuriboh," he teased softly, then snored, passing out in Yami's arms.

Yami smiled and pulled him up for a gentle embrace before placing him in bed. "Goodnight Yugi."

* * *

_Dear Yami,_

_Today we went to Jaden's entry duel into Seto's academy for the Duel Monsters. Jaden passed with flying colours, You, Hikari, Abiri and Heba screamed and cheered him on from the side lines, I'm so proud. He's a real game Prince, I think he'll be joined by the others one day, they seem eager to follow our duelling footsteps._

_I think that Jaden's examiner was a bit harsh, he used a monster I've not seen in any of the other practice duel decks. But he still passed, he told me it was fun, I hope he settles in quickly._

_He was very nearly late, he told me he had to climb over the fence and up a tree to register in time. Unlike you who was standing around waiting for him for about an hour. He'll be thanking you for that card you gave him last minute. Good thing we remembered his PJ's from the first day we met him: Winged-Kuriboh. Our sixteen year old son when he was one, bless him he was so cute!_

_It'll be our ten year olds eleventh soon. They're growing up so fast, I wish we could have one hundred eleventh birthdays with them, just to savour the moment. Jaden's off to the academy, I hope he remembers to write, or email, or call, though that is expressive from Japan to England. I know how forgetful he is._

_Grandpa is so proud of him too, I think he's got the boasting rights for our family for a while. Good luck Jaden, I'm sorry we have to leave you so soon. But work calls. Seto should keep you company, I hope his kids Alex and Atticus are nice to him. Remember how shocked we were when Joey said he was expecting? Coincidence indeed Ishizu._

_I've just finished wrapping presents for the triplets. Handmade Dark Magician Girl Plushie for Hikari, Skateboard for Heba and Marshal Arts for Abiri. We'll be giving them in a week, Jaden's promised to call, told me he'd even tattoo it onto his hand to make triple sure he'd keep his promise. He really does try._

_But it's his special day, I've helped him move into the Slifer Dorm, I'll miss him so much. But you'll miss him more. I felt the same: you couldn't let him go for a last goodbye until his holiday in spring._

_Good luck Jay._

_And we'll be fine Yami. He'll be fine._

_Love Yugi._

* * *

**The End! Though I've had thoughts about a sequal, I hope that you're ont as mad as Teá as you should be. She got beat up, dumped, then lost her one true love and later her son. I hope that's suffering enough. Now Jaden's being raised by two of the best people in this show, so we know how well a duelest he'll turn out.**

**Anyway about that sequal. I'm going to PM some close PenPals of mine and have them tell me what they think of my idea. My fwiends! you know who you are, expect my message!**

**Amme-chan out!**


End file.
